Let's look at what happens in disasters: How do the majority of men react with non-family members? And in organizations that do put women in combat: How do those men treat their female comrades? We'd have a lot of actual data to draw upon, instead of sitting in rooms giving our opinions.
Plus, one group's bigotry is not a reason to deny a minority an opportunity. I don't know why American politicians so often refuse to see that similar strain in so many discussions.
If women are around, men could be distracted by them. "Emotions" is a nice label for what goes on, but I think he means the general bullshit that goes on in all workplaces: affairs, crushes, INTRIGUE.
Better to keep ladies hidden away than threaten men's concentration. It's the burqa argument, and it prevails in many places in lots of ways.
If those awful stories from the cruise ship disaster showed anything, it's that when men feel seriously threatened, the last thing on their minds is helping the ladies out of harm's way. Maybe being faced with extreme scenarios like that is the one real way to force people to throw aside their bigotries (racial, religious or otherwise), if only for self-preservation.
I prefer the company of Christians to Muslims.
I prefer the company of white people to Asian people.
I prefer the company of thin people to people who aren't thin.
I prefer the company of people whose native language is English to people from whom it's a second language.
Don't those statements make you uncomfortable? That's how her statement made me feel.
I was talking to my husband about this because on the same day as these comments, a female co-worker told me she prefers male bosses. I was about to burst with sadness. He asked me which I preferred, and I can honestly say it has never occurred to me to consider it: I don't care what's between my bosses legs, where he worships, what color his skin is. I just want a good boss. And she should just want good friends.
"How {group of people} get their backs up over every little thing and take it all personally as if it's a rejection of {group of people} , when you don't even know a {person of group}. Or is that me being {group}-ist."
I've heard that before. And when I hear it, it sounds like whatever -ism it is.
Nothing's wrong with men. I don't care whom women have as friends. What DOES bother me is predetermining or articulating a preference for relationships based on something like gender, religion, race, physical ability, etc.
I'm really deeply disappointed anytime a woman makes an anti-woman comment. It lets men know it's alright, and it's not. It also implies that women are a monolith, which we're not.
Again, even if she's "seen some things," how is it OK by you that she use those to make sweeping generalizations about a group? Or maybe we're so accustomed to sexism that we don't even recognize it. If she had identified any other group for preference, it would have raised flags, and it should do the same here.
This is a seriously scary double standard that most women and men don't question and it always gets me upset. (I'm sorry...I'm supposed to be OK with jizz, but you won't go near me when I've got my period. That makes sense to you?)
This story doesn't surprise me. It's exactly representative of my introduction to giving oral and my feelings on it at the time. I can't say I've developed much from there. I don't enjoy it either, and while I'll do it for my husband and I wish I understood how it (not "giving pleasure" but the actual act) could be enjoyable for others, I still battle with looking at it like a chore.
I'm often convinced that the only real result of the focus on "sex like men" has been for women to feel pressured to perform like porn stars (and truly enjoy it). In that way, we've traded one potentially unrealistic external expectation (chastity) for another.
It also makes me think of something I've been mulling a lot lately: The rape scenes I've been reading about in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo...Does it bother anyone else that rape is depicted for our entertainment and for its shock value in a mainstream movie? Does it normalize it so that we don't think of the rape that happens here as the same as the war crimes in this article? Are these Somali women more "valid" victims because they weren't drinking or going to parties? OMG so many questions.