Jazz_Hands commented on Ad Nauseum

"You know, I really try to stick up for France."

Jazz_Hands commented on We Love Cheap Stuff, But Fast Fashion Is Hard To Defend

"I see this as a catch-22 situation."

Jazz_Hands commented on Gymnasts Pose For Questionable Pic • New York Chooses First Black Female Boxing Czar

"I think they're just bending down so everyone fits in the picture."

Jazz_Hands commented on The Socialite's Nazi Publicist

"And people ask me "What is it you love about living in Florida?""

Jazz_Hands commented on Man Trying Desperately To Play It Cool While a Thousand Mary Jane Fantasies Fill His Mind

"If I draw a mole on my face, maybe she'll mistake me for Jason Schwartzman..."

Jazz_Hands commented on Does This Skirt Make Me Look Fast?

"I think that my inner thighs would completely chafe themselves away."

Jazz_Hands commented on Santa, The Tooth Fairy And Other Lies Our Parents Told Us

"My mom never told me anything crazy (just the usual Santa/easter bunny stuff)."

Jazz_Hands commented on Lucky Magazine's Idea Of "Sexy" Simply Isn't

"That chick with the greasy hair looks really high."

Jazz_Hands commented on Can The "Right" Name Make A Kid More Successful?

"Not that I agree with the "science" behind this, but for some reason every Crystal I have ever met is or was at one time a stripper."