Pamuk was a real thing that happened! Truth is stranger than fiction, etc.
Really? Where do you keep your asshole?

Thongs provide basically a direct highway from asshole to vajeen. You move, your underwear moves, and all of a sudden it's crotchrot city.
Said every Republican ever, "At least it was a lady."
@WillaCatheter: GOD I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'S KILLING ME.

I mean, I will love Bobby Bowden until my dying day, but I was so happy when he retired. When Jimbo gets it together I will cry real tears of joy.

SEC 4 eva!
@WillaCatheter: You might want to look up the definition of hyperbole.

(PS - Go Noles.)
@WillaCatheter: Ummm... hyperbole. But thanks anyway.
@tlong1122: Gator fans are, to a man, shitbags.
@Gay-Doh Fun Factory: He's married, so not openly gay.
@eastcoasthrumph: Ugh, I want to hate her and you're making it kind of impossible.
@stellalukin: DING DING DING.

I'm considering copy-pasting this whole thing to by best friend. Maybe I'll take out the power animal bullshit, but who knows.
Memo to Lea Michele:

Okay, we get it. You're sexy or whatever. CALM DOWN.
@BettyCrocker: "It's not a funny joke, but anyone who doesn't think it's funny is humorless."

Oh. Okay.
[jezebel.com]

Just this whole guy, really. pick any of those comments and go apeshit.

#trollpatrol
@JordanGold: "Call me girlfriend. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no sense in my head, and nothing particular to interest me in Wasilla, I thought I would slut about a little and see the watery end of Levi's gentleman's parts."
@traumamama: "What's a canard?" - Bristol Palin
@DeccaLeChat: I'm with you. <3 Christ, hate Kurt.
@resplendent.bitch: Derby has made me totally willing to get in a fight if I have to. Which is nuts, and scary, and awesome.
@samplesize: Promoted for truth. The Professional was the jam. Everything else she's done has been solidly rated eh, and I'm including my favorite Woody Allen movie of all time (OF ALL TIME) Everyone Says I Love You.
Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women
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