Nowadays, I've figured that if I put a really good, moisturizing conditioner (I used Redken's Fresh Curls for my wavy hair, which is amazing) on my wet hair in the shower and let it sit for at least ten minutes, then comb it out with a regular-spaced comb, my hair stays significantly tangle-free for at least a week or so. My problem is all the hair underneath my hair, like the strands closest to my neck, that tangles.
the only reason why I don't do that often enough is because it takes some of the volume out of my hair, so now I usually do it only once a month and the rest of the time I'll just spend some time picking out the tangles with my fingers while I'm watching TV or something. It's soothing.
But my brother and dad assure me that the Exposed Asses are definitely given side-eye in the facilities.
For me, the appeal is simply aesthetic. I'm pretty butch and I live in basketball shorts and t-shirts. I only wear makeup on weekends if I go out, and I don't wear feminine clothes or heels or earrings. Nail art is a way for me to feel more connected to the feminine side of myself, and also some of the stuff out there is just fucking pretty. Some of the things I've done are less nail art and more miniature paintings on my nails, for example the trend of galaxy nails. Have you seen that shit? Google watercolor nails. Or newspaper nails. So much of this stuff has transcended simply "getting your nails done" and it's morphed into a way to channel artistic energy and creativity.
I started a blog on Tumblr to show other women (read: my friends who consistently freak out over my nails) that a lot of the time, the complicated designs you see really aren't that bad. Once you break down all the steps, you see how a design comes together, and you can try it yourself. You don't have to spend upwards of thirty bucks at a salon. I mean, yeah, if you don't have any polish or basic tools yourself, you'll have to buy some, but odds are everyone has a friend who's gotten into nail art and can loan you some polishes. It's just...fun.
I brought up the possibility of BPD to the psychologist that saw me when I had depression about five years ago, and who now sees mainly only my mom. He kind of brushed it off and said that he didn't think she had any kind of disorder like that. But what made alarm bells go off to me is that in a session with my dad and me right after a session with her, he started addressing problems that he recognized in our family that was my dad's and my fault. Which don't exist or are greatly magnified by my mom's BPD way of thinking. I got upset because here's a freaking PHD telling me that my mom is right when I know she's not and all of her issues and problems aren't real! I don't know, maybe we need to find a new therapist? It'd be next to impossible to persuade her to try someone else since she likes our guy so much because he agrees with her. (Every time we've tried counselors or psychologists that tell her she's wrong or that she's blowing things out of proportion, she'll walk out of sessions or stop seeing them because they're "stupid.") #Groupthink
Before my sister was born, she was pretty bad. She was on Lexapro before she got pregnant and that seemed to make a pretty damn big difference in her behavior. Then she and my dad attempted a kind of "save our marriage" type of thing and then she got pregnant. BeaToddler was a sort of bandaid for whatever problems my mom had; after she tried to breastfeed she went back on her antidepressants, but we were all happy for a while. My mom is the type of mom who is really really good with babies; she loved dressing her up, cuddling her, bathing her, showing her off to people at the store or whatever. As BeaToddler has gotten older though, her behavior started to get worse and worse. Now it's the worst it's ever been.
I feel pretty confident that she has an undiagnosed mental illness. For years I've suspected that she has Borderline Personality Disorder. All the symptoms fit her to a tee. She's been on and off multiple medications in the last year, and she's been seeing a psychologist that knows us, but I know that she lies heavily about things when she's in a session by herself so I don't see how someone could accurately diagnose her. She presents only the skewed version of what she believes as truth, and the therapists have nothing to cross-reference that with, so they accept that as truth. #Groupthink
Thanks, though. I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday. My friends took me out for drinks and let me talk about it a little. I'm just gonna take each new day the best I can and try not to worry about what's happening in the future. #Groupthink
I'll make sure to keep copies of the email she sent. Thank you for your advice. #Groupthink
I've been trying to stress to my dad that we all stay together. He seems to be under the impression that it would be better for my brother and I to go our own ways if the shit hits the fan. But he must not know me very well if he thinks I'll do that.
Thank you for the support. #Groupthink