Jezebel: Penis

A Penis Enlargement Technique That Works—And Is Only Kind of Terrifying

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:15:00 EST

Things are looking up for guys in the market for a penis enlargement. It appears some researchers from Korea University have found a method that is actually effective—and you don't even have to reply to some sketchy spam email to get it. The results of their research were recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, and it turns out they used the same thing some ladies use for their faces, Restylane. After injecting Restylane into 50 men's penises, they found that there was average increase in circumference (or girth) of 4 cm. That increase still held 18 months later. More »

Meet the Spider With the Tiny Detachable Penis

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 23:55:00 EST

You have to hand it to spiders, they're so crafty, building their fancy webs and always managing to crawl out of your shoe and spook you just when you're least expecting it. But there is one kind of spider that has really gone above and beyond the call of duty: The orb-web spider, ephilengys malabarensis, has a detachable penis—actually it has two of them. More »

America Wants to Know If Romney Has a Big Penis

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:55:00 EST

There was a time when the nation was mildly scandalized by presidential candidate Bill Clinton being asked if he wears boxers or briefs. A lot has changed in the past two decades, and our sensibilities aren't quite as delicate as they once were. Case in point: Yesterday a man called in to C-SPAN (C-SPAN!) and asked New Hampshire Republican Party Chairman Wayne MacDonald about the contents of Mitt Romney's tighty whities. More »

Dude Plagued with Permanent Boner from Penis Tattoo

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:15:00 EST

After a 21-year-old Iranian man had Persian script reading "good luck on your journeys" and the first initial of his girlfriend's last name tattooed onto his peen he was left with a permanent semi, according to the most recent Journal of Sexual Medicine. Doctors explain that the traditional handheld needle that was used for the tattoo punctured holes that were too deep "that damaged vessels in the penis, resulting in fistulas, and then a pseudoaneurysm, a pooling of blood outside a vessel wall." The young man tried having shunt procedure performed, but it didn't work to relieve the swelling. He's since rejected any more treatment because he's probably realized that the side effect of the tattoo was that his dick looks bigger all the time. But it probably took him so long to come to that realization due to all the blood draining from his head. More »

French Children's Fashion Ad Features Kids, Penis [NSFW]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:45:00 EST

Sacre bleu. Upscale French chain La Redoute is being figuratively boiled in a creamy sauce after its website featured an image of children frolicking happily on a picturesque beach... and a naked guy, wang languidly flopping against his thighs, in the background. More »

Sauna Awards Big-Dicked Dudes With VIP Cards

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:15:00 EDT

Everyone's favorite animated news service, NMA TV, reports that an all-male sauna in Taipei is attempting to attract clients with large penises. Men whose members measure over 18 cm (7.1 inches) long or 1.96 inches in girth can enter (heh) for free. According to the report, dudes of this size get VIP cards, and there's a "Big Bird" party for all the big swinging dicks, during which dudes walk around naked and check each other out. We highly doubt that there was a banana sword fight in the sauna, but that didn't stop NMA from illustrating one. More »

27 Daring And Disturbing Cock Contraptions [NSFW]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:55:00 EDT

You know what they say: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. We often examine the weird things available for enhancing or showing off the female anatomy, but turnabout is fair play. So, in the spirit of bizarre thingamabobs for boobs, we hereby present a crazy collection of cock contraptions. Penis paraphernalia. Dick devices. Gadgets for the gonads. If it's designed to cover, display or sheath the phallus, it's here. So incredibly not safe for work its not even funny. Are you ready? More »

Man Seriously Aroused By Walmart

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 12:35:00 EDT

Travis Keen was arrested on an obscenity charge earlier this week. A witness called the cops, reporting that a man was driving a Ford Taurus around the Walmart parking lot "with his penis exposed." When an officer stopped Keen, he admitted that he did, in fact, have his dick out of his pants. More »

Woman Disposes of Husband's Penis in Garbage Disposal

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Women acting crazy? Penises? Divorce? California? Well, this should give Jay Leno enough material to get him through the end of the 2014 TV season. More »

Here Is A Tattoo In Which A Penis Leaking Semen Spells Out The Name Jezebel [NSFW]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 10:25:00 EDT

Happy Friday morning, everyone! More »

5 Myths About The Penis

Hugo Schwyzer — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 18:45:00 EDT

Google "penis myths" and you get over 2.2 million results. That tells you something about the power and pervasiveness of half-truths and outright lies about the male sex organ. But some of those myths are more damaging than others. In the interest of pleasure, of happiness, of education and fun, here are our Top Five Penis Myths. More »

How I Came To Terms With Circumcising My Son

Sarah Tuttle-Singer — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:15:00 EDT

Walking to class past the political and cultural smorgasbord of Sproul Plaza at the University of California at Berkeley was a feast for the eyes. There was, of course, the Ralph Nader-loving table teeming with activity and the ever-desolate Berkeley College Republicans station. But the one that always caught my eye was the "Male Circumcision = Genital Mutilation" table. And yes, they had pictures. More »

Female Anchor Makes Fun Of Co-Host's Penis

Anna North — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:45:00 EST

Australian news anchor Belinda Heggen took a tiny trophy as an opportunity to make fun of co-host Mark Aiston's penis. Unexpected, perhaps, but still not cool. More »

New Google Graphs Reveal Centuries Of Dicks, Pimps And Hos

Anna North — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 16:52:00 EST

An extremely addictive new Internet toy allows you to track the frequency of specific words in books going back all the way to 1500. We decided to check out how words like "depression," "ho," and "vagina" fared through the ages. More »

Australians Offended By Sight Of Wife Standing On Penis

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:18:00 EST

In this Aussie erectile dysfunction ad, a wife uses her husband's penis as a step stool. It's received 220 complaints, plus it's ineffective — what dude wants someone to step on his junk? More »

Breaking: Country Boys Are Hung

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 15:01:00 EST

It's not every day you read an article regarding a medical journal and penile size research that includes the words "farm-fed beef." Thank Zeus today is that day. More »

Berlusconi Decides Ancient Roman Statue Needs New Penis

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 09:21:00 EST

Silvio Berlusconi spent $100,000 of taxpayers' money to replace a penis and hand to second-century Roman statues on loan to him from a museum. Art historians are horrified, but the prime minister's architect notes the new appendages are detachable. More »

Will Vinny Pose Naked For Playgirl?

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:57:00 EDT

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The magazine's rep, Daniel Nardicio, says if the Jersey Shore star goes full-frontal: "We would offer Vinny $30,000 plus a portion of the proceeds." And if Snooki is to be believed, Vinny would need a really big spread. More »

Breaking: Square Married Dudes Have Dick Piercings

Anna North — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:33:12 EDT

According to one survey, the average recipient of a penis piercing is way squarer than you'd think. However, potential side effects of a Prince Albert are downright disturbing. More »

Snooki Sucks A Cock…sicle

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:46:00 EDT

[Seaside Heights New Jersey, July 31. Image via INFDaily.]

James Franco's "Art" Includes Penis-Noses, Masks & A Dead Cat

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:20:00 EDT

James Franco's art show just opened at a gallery in NYC; it includes a video of Franco wearing a prosthetic penis on his nose, terrifying masks and a taxidermied cat. Additional images below! [On Location Vacations via ONTD] More »

Local-News Anchor: "She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More, Is She?"

Margaret Hartmann — Sat, 15 May 2010 10:50:00 EDT

After a story about G-spot injections, New Orleans local news anchor Michael Hill tries to engage his co-anchors in some friendly banter and unintentionally catapults himself to viral video infamy. Don't worry Michael, you just "keep fucking that chicken." [Buzzfeed] More »

—Sarah Silverman

Anna North — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:30:00 EDT

On comedy and the human anatomy. More »

Sticky Situations

Katy Kelleher — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:20:00 EST

The four women charged with gluing a cheating ex's penis to his stomach have managed to avoid jail time. But the judge notes: most people seek divorce, so that no one has to "get all messed up with glue." [UPI] More »

Man Puts Penis In Pipe, Can't Remove It

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:30:00 EST

A British man got his penis stuck in a steel pipe and was freed by firefighters using a metal grinder. He wouldn't explain how it got stuck, but medics say they couldn't remove it because he was aroused. [The Sun] More »

Insert Dick Joke Here

Katy Kelleher — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:40:00 EST

Cuban authorities announced that they are offering free penis implants to men whose "sexual suffering does not respond positively to traditional treatments." While over-40s and those with diabetes are given first priority, the government program will soon be expanded. [Independent] More »

Natalie Portman & Top Chef Crew Crack Cock Jokes

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:20:00 EDT

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The headline says it all. More »

Crocheted Cock

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:45:00 EDT

This strap-on is the epitome of fashion over function, in that it always remains soft. [Buzzfeed] More »

What Penis Game Did Ricky Gervais Invent?

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:40:00 EDT

Last night, Ricky Gervais was on The Tonight Show, where he told Conan about a game he invented involving his pajamas, his girlfriend (or mum!) and his cock and balls. (We think - the phrase, for some reason, was bleeped.) More »

Are Four Heads Better Than One?

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 18:20:00 EDT

The video at left features the echidna, a.k.a. spiny anteater, which is the only mammal that lays eggs. But, what really sets echidnas apart from other members of the animal kingdom is that the males have a four-headed penis. [Buzzfeed] More »

Put It In Your Mouth

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:20:00 EDT

Does this ham remind you of something? [WoW] More »

Q: What To Do When Your Little Girl Is Playing With Her Brother's Penis?

Sadie Stein — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:00:00 EDT

A: Teach her the triumphant "Vagina Song!" More »

By "Pork" Do You Mean "Dad Hiding The Sausage"?

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:20:00 EDT

"Moms depend on Pork like kids depend on moms." Haha, someone cocked up this ad. Looks like they're holding dildos. Click to enlarge. Enlarge! Hahaha. [Vintage Ads] More »

Science Scribe Writes Masturbatory Missive About Human Penises

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:00:00 EDT

There are so many unintentionally hilarious "parts" in this Scientific American feature about penis shape, starting with the entire premise. More »

Medical Marvel

Katy Kelleher — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:10:00 EDT

An infant in China was born with a rare medical condition: he has two penises. And one of them is located in the middle of his back. Let the dick-punning begin. [WorldofWonder] More »

Penal Law

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:40:00 EST

A Queens man is suing a website for wrongly claiming that he is uncircumcised. According to John Singer, 49, the website Centropa, a European oral-history project, misquoted his mother as saying her two sons had not been circumcised. He says he informed the site's director that the information was incorrect, but it was published online anyway. Singer has filed a lawsuit seeking unspecified damages. "Centropa.org and its editorial staff have violated my right to privacy of the most intimate part of my anatomy," said Singer. "They have caused me tremendous emotional pain and suffering. I feel humiliated and betrayed." [Gothamist] More »

Penises In Peril

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:30:00 EST

New research shows that when mothers are exposed to some pesticides and chemicals during pregnancy, male offspring are born with smaller penises and feminized genitals. Chemicals used in some food wrapping, cosmetics, baby powders and flame retardants have been found to interfere with male hormones in vertebrate animals, including humans. "This research shows that the basic male tool kit is under threat," says Gwynne Lyons, who wrote the report published by the charity CHEMTrust, which drew on more than 250 scientific studies. [NY Post] More »

Size Queens

Maria — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:40:00 EST

A survey of European men found that French men have the largest claimed average penis length in Europe, where they come in on average at 6.09 inches. The Greeks came in with the smallest peens in Europe with an average of 4.89 inches. Meanwhile, a separate international survey reports that women consider Italian men to be the most handsome (American, Russian and Brazilians are runners-up). The position of French and Greek men on the list wasn't reported. [Telegraph, Reuters] More »

The C-Word

Maria — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 09:40:00 EST

Google's strictest "SafeSearch" option has a bizarre way of filtering out search terms that relate to women's bodies. The word "clitoris" is completely banned on the word list of searchable terms but the word "vagina" brings up about 21 million results and "labia" brings up over 2 million "safe" options. For men, "scrotum" brings up 4.6 million results and "penis" brings up over 35 million results. [The F Word via Susie Bright] More »

Stay Off Of John McCain's Lawn!

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:00:00 EDT

As the sun rises on the debate day but sets on John McCain, one is forced to wonder: where are the racists at? And, it turns out they're at McCain-Palin rallies! Swampland's Ana Marie Cox and I aren't surprised, any more than we're surprised that Dick Morris still sucks hooker's toes, and Todd Palin might be "borrowing" Sarah's underwear. Oh, and John McCain is probably losing and wants people the fuck off his lawn, you cunt. More »