Paula Deen Might Be Comin' to Skymall, Y'all!

After a huge cash infusion from an investor who has $75 million worth of faith that embattled chef Paula Deen’s buttery best years are ahead of her, the comfort food maven is poised to make a big time comeback… in Skymall.

According to TMZ, Deen’s latest benefactor is an investment company run by Jahn Najafi, a multi, multi millionaire who despite the fact that he can afford to live almost anywhere, has opted to live in Phoenix. This is relevant because I believe it speaks to his ability to judge worthy investments.

Anyway, in 2012, Najafi and his partners purchased SkyMall, the highlight of every trip I take on an airplane because it allows me to play a game I like to call What Item On This Page Is The Least Bad? with either my travel companion or whoever is unlucky enough to sit next to me. A customized marble dog carved with your family crest? Something called an NFL Forest Face for the trees that don’t grow in the yard I don’t have? A fake mounted squirrel head? An “Affirmation box” that will say things like “Lookin’ Good, Erin!” when I open it? I pick squirrel.

Imagine Paula Deen branded products in Skymall. Imagine it. It’s perfectly awful. Custom made racist lawn ornaments. A pan that only makes black & white cookies (Fine. “Separate But Equal” Cookies). Butter stuff. A miniature gingerbread plantation for Christmas, for the kids.

How, exactly, Deen’s brand will be utilized with this gigantic investment remains to be seen. But I’m crossing my fingers that it involves garish knickknacks that can be ordered at the touch of a button from 30,000 feet in the air. And that somehow, this means that Kristen Wiig can dust off her Deen impression for a Very Special SNL cameo.