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In a long post on Facebook, Patton Oswalt explained where he is 102 days after his wife, crime writer Michelle McNamara, died unexpectedly on April 21.

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Oswalt described his grief vividly, asserting that after 102 days he has barely begun to crawl out of the “blast crater” left behind by her loss. He wrote:

Thanks, grief.

Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you.

But grief? Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully’s head in a toilet and then fucking the teacher you’ve got a crush on in front of the class. Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a dick.

He also announced that McNamara’s unfinished work on the person she dubbed the Golden State Killer will be completed and released:

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Michelle McNamara got yanked off the planet and out of life 102 days ago. She left behind an amazing unfinished book, about a horrific series of murders that everyone — including the retired homicide detectives she worked with — was sure she’d solve. The Golden State Killer. She gave him that name, in an article for Los Angeles Magazine. She was going to figure out the real name behind it... Any spare energy I’ve managed to summon since April 21st I’ve put toward finishing Michelle’s book. With a lot of help from some very amazing people. It will come out. I will let you know. It’s all her. We’re just taking what’s there and letting it tell us how to shape it. It’s amazing.

Fans of Oswalt may be happy to hear that he is also planning to begin writing jokes and performing again, though it seems as though it’s because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Oswalt wrote that he isn’t picking up the reins of his career again because it’s what McNamara “would have wanted.” He says, “For me to even presume to know what Michelle would have wanted me to do is the height of arrogance on my part. That was one of the many reasons I so looked forward to growing old with her. Because she was always surprising me. Because I never knew what she’d think or what direction she’d go.”

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You can read the rest of his post here.