Source photos via Getty, Shutterstock. Image by Bobby Finger.

Paris Hilton is tweeting (and ‘gramming, and snapping) from Burning Man. Below is an imagined retelling of her experience as a citizen of Black Rock City.

Screenshot via Snapchat.

BLACK ROCK CITY, NEVADA—A tall blonde in a faded hot pink one-piece and still-intact braids created by hairstylist Chris Dylan hobbles up the dusty runway leading to her private plane.

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The pilot smiles as she embarks. “How’d it go?”

“It was sick,” Paris replies, looking for a phone charger. “I achieved self-actualization.” She can’t wait to bring this new energy to Amnesia Ibiza on September 10.

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This has been Paris Goes to Burning Man.