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Freelance political soundbyte-for-hire Sarah Palin appeared on Fox News yesterday to provide some expert analysis on the Iowa caucuses, and also to dazzle the viewing audience with her new, wavy hair. More »
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Sarah Palin has enjoyed a long, illustrious career in quitting. She quit her job as governor. She quit attending four different colleges. She quit her reality show. She quit her big fancy cross-country bus tour, and then quit calling it "quitting." But now, finally, after what seems like decades of dealing with her spittle-spewing, American flag vest-wearing supporters with misspelled signs, and the snotty liberal arts majors who love to photograph them, Sarah Palin might be quitting something else: being deemed worthy of our collective fascination. More »
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An advance review of Joe McGinniss's The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin has accomplished the seemingly impossible: making me want to read Levi Johnston's memoir. More »
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Sarah Palin has put her bus tour on hold because she has jury duty. This is also why she can't come to your birthday party, and why her TPS reports were not filed on time. More »
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Thousands and thousands of pages of Sarah Palin's emails were released to the public this week. Turns out, the former governor and current just plain normal person drivin' around Real America in a bus tastefully emblazoned with a picture of the US constitution almost as big as her hair was busy before she quit halfway through her first term to pursue other opportunitie$. More »
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Former Sarah Palin aide Frank Bailey has written a tell-all book, which comes out tomorrow. Let's take a look at what he'll reveal. More »
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It's no surprise that Sarah Palin is a fan of February's media boycott of her activities (she's never been a fan of the media in the first place). What's surprising is why. More »
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Bristol Palin has admitted (under duress) that she's dating a new guy. But she was much more excited to talk about how much Levi sucks. More »
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When Sarah Palin used a bunch of gun-related images to rile up her supporters and get them to "target" certain members of Congress, I guess she didn't count on the fact that "real America" isn't great at metaphors. Commence backpedaling! More »
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Sun Devilry, that is. The dancin'-est Palin reportedly purchased a home near Tempe, Arizona, fueling rumors that a college career could be in her future. Will Arizona State University, "the Harvard of date rape," be ready for this jelly? More »
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The Mama Grizzly That America Never Asked For normally makes me want to punch baby deer, but I was actually able to watch this clip from her upcoming reality show with the sound on. What. The. Fuck. More »
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Not to be outdone by Levi, Bristol Palin has appeared in a music video for the Alaska band Static Cycle. Now you can watch her caress a weird ice rose while wearing a fur hat. More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, the legends are dominating our TV sets. Liza Minnelli laughs at her encephalitis! Barbara Walters eats a feather boa! Elaine Stritch yells at a studio audience! Aretha Franklin scratches her butt! More »
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•  More and more details are emerging about Chelsea's impending nuptials. She's picked the place (the Astor estate in Rhinebeck, New York) and the rehearsal dinner caterer (Terrapin restaurant). She even purchases some "understated" pillows from a local shop. More »
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Wall Street Journal writer Mark Helprin says those "strange pinheads," Tarek and Michaele Salahi, deserve their own verb. He also lists some other famous people whose names have entered the common lexicon — but we can think of more. More »
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• The Emmy Awards are tonight, and host Neil Patrick Harris apparently has a few tricks up his sleeve, including a visit from Dr. Horrible and John Hodgman announcing questionable factoids as the winners go up to collect their prizes. [EW]

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• Hillary Clinton has not agreed to be Obama's Secretary of State even if she is officially offered it. [Politico]
• She has, however, been asked to head Ted Kennedy's health reform task force next year. [The Hill]
• Mr. Jowls will remain the Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security. Jane Hamsher and others say, in so many words, fuck that guy. [Politico, Firedoglake, Politico]
• Chuck Norris might be able to defeat ninjas, cowboys and anyone who talks back, but what he's really, really scared of is boys who like to kiss other boys (we assume that, like most raging homophobes, he furiously masturbates to girl-on-girl porn). Chuck Norris, I have watched gay bear porn and survived with nary a scratch. I double dog dare you. [Queerty]

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• Officials are confirming that Hillary Clinton met with Barack Obama in Chicago to talk about a potential Cabinet slot. Two "senior Democratic officials" confirmed to the Huffington Post that Clinton was offered Secretary of State and asked for time to consider it, but she didn't admit to anything at a press conference in Albany. [NY Times, Huffington Post]
• Barack Obama and John McCain are going to meet this weekend to talk about how they might be able to work together on something once Obama is President. It was arranged by Senator Lindsay Graham, McCain's Number One Fanboy. [Washington Post]
• Vermont Senator Pat Leahy became the one who broke the seal, announcing today that he's not going to support Connecticut Senator Joe "Turncoat" Lieberman's efforts to hold onto his committee chairmanship in the Democratic-controlled Senate since Lieberman isn't a Democrat, campaigned against the incoming Democratic President and endorsed a Republican. Glad someone has more of a spine than Harry Reid. [Washington Post]
• Speaking of backbones, thousands of people are expecting to protest the passage of Proposition 8 tomorrow, in California and around the country. [Huffington Post]

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• Just to prove to American voters that they are really unfeeling, the Republican National Committee released word today that the California Republican Party is filing an FEC complaint against Barack Obama for his visit to his dying grandmother, who passed away today. Is anyone home over there? [Washington Post]
• If you weren't already aware, Barack Obama doesn't want to see your underwear. Panty-flinging should remain metaphorical. [Politico]
• Sarah Palin is definitely not releasing her medical records. I want to be angry about this, but I wouldn't want reporters pawing around my gynecological exams either. [CNN]
• Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, having lived the last 8 years with his head firmly up his ass, thinks that the U.S. will "lose a lot of stature throughout the world" if we elect Obama. [Politico]

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You might be forgiven if, upon watching this video of Sarah Palin meeting with and talking to heads of state, you think to yourself, "But, Sarah Palin has never address the United Nations!" Because we did. The video mashes up some actual audio of Palin discussing foreign policy and the religious case for "Drill, Baby, Drill" with footage of "Palin" discussing those things with heads of state, as she might be called to do as VP (or, God forbid, President). It might be the scariest thing you see all Halloween. Click on the picture at left to watch. [AdGabber] More »
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A new father has named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin as an endorsement for Republican ticket...and without his wife's consent. Mark Ciptak of Tennessee says he picked the name to "get the word out" for McCain-Palin because he can't give a lot of money to the campaign. "I took one for the cause," he said. He wrote the name on the documents for his daughter's birth certificate, ignoring the name his wife picked, Ava Grace. “I don’t think she believes me yet,” said Ciptak. “It’s going to take some more convincing.” Yeah, it'll probably sink in when she sees the name written in the divorce documents. [The Knox News] More »
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In a world where registering people to vote constitutes a crime but illegally pressuring your subordinates to fire your brother-in-law doesn't; where the guy who points out that violent threats scare him is stoking racial tensions but the man trying to take advantage of them is just standing up for the common [white] man; and in which the Republican Party will pay for ads slamming Obama while pushing others praising him in the hopes of re-electing a Republican Congressman, there's not a lot of reason for hope. Or, perhaps there is, as it's progress alone that people are noticing all of the bullshit. I'm not really sure, but hope-enthusiast Spencer Ackerman is less unsure than me, which is why I keep asking him back. Our morning conversation, after the jump. More »
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As the sun rises on the debate day but sets on John McCain, one is forced to wonder: where are the racists at? And, it turns out they're at McCain-Palin rallies! Swampland's Ana Marie Cox and I aren't surprised, any more than we're surprised that Dick Morris still sucks hooker's toes, and Todd Palin might be "borrowing" Sarah's underwear. Oh, and John McCain is probably losing and wants people the fuck off his lawn, you cunt. More »
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