Image via Instagram/Illustration via Bobby Finger.

Imagine a swimming Ryan Lochte repeating the word “jeah” for several hours. Now imagine one hundred million swimming Ryan Lochtes repeating the word “jeah” for several hours. That, my friends, is the best way to describe the view inside his fiancée Kayla Rae Reid’s fallopian tubes in the moments before she became pregnant with Lochte’s child.

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Horrifying, isn’t it? You’d love to get it out of your head, wouldn’t you? Then cleanse your mental palate with the actual images Lochte and Reid used for their birth announcement.

Here he is kissing Reid’s stomach underwater:

And here’s another attempt:

There’s really no good way to break this news, is there?