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Once upon a time a guy, we'll call him "Dmitri," became obsessed with a woman named Olga. The romance was passionate and literary and many fond and fiery words were exchanged. Well folks, just over a century later history just about repeated itself, when a new Olga caught the eye of another, equally passionate Dimitri, one recent night near the San Francisco Marina. They spoke for no more than two minutes - just long enough for Olga to bestow upon Dimitri a business card and an abiding lust. But sadly, readers, ours is an era of constant unceasing multi-modal communication. Texts and emails and voicemails are left; deadlines, implied and explicit, are imposed; ultimatums are delivered. One almost has to wonder: is there time in such an age for true lasting passion to simmer? The outcome is unknown. But two voicemails left by this Dmitri for the "elegant" object of his desire do not portend a happy future. The transcripts - a bit is lost in the translation, such as his distinctively douchetacular pronunciations of "assume" and "man" - appear after the jump. More »
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