Image via Wayfair

Have you been on the hunt for an impressively tacky piece of furniture that also says, “I have an irresponsible relationship with alcohol?” Well, girl, I got you. Get those credit cards ready because for just $99.95 (payments as low as $18/month), this baby is yours.

Image via Wayfair

I know I always keep my eyes peeled for utilitarian decor—in this case, a stylish and convenient place to put my garbage without leaving the comfort of my living room, where I’ve passed out for the evening.

The good people at Wayfair tracked down the intoxicatingly genius minds over at Wine Enthusiast Companies and I will never remember life before the Barrel Cork Catcher End Table.

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Though I was a fan, some of my coworkers raised questions about the logic behind such a contraption.

What, you say, the hell does a hideous wine barrel-shaped trash receptacle/end table have to do with the this maritime pun? The fuck if I know!

Maybe they meant, I think, was “(Throw Those) Corks Away!” If you’re still struggling with how exactly to describe the Barrel Cork Catcher End Table to your loved ones, guzzle down some of these suggestions.

But don’t take my word for it. The Barrel Cork Catcher End Table enjoys an impressive 4.5-star average rating from some very discerning buyers.

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Love, love, love this table! Perfect whimsical accent for a wine enthusiast!

I finally have somewhere to put my cork collection and it is a small table that doesn’t take much room next to the couch.

Exactly like picture. Very cute indeed

Where do we go from here—now armed with the knowledge that at least six people on this planet paid $100 to scam people into believing that precociously displaying your fermented trash is acceptable?

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I’m not exactly sure yet, but this isn’t over. Just know right now, this shit isn’t over.