Big news for devoted connoisseurs of Christian kitsch: The good lord above has finally blessed us with a full teaser trailer for the movie reboot of Left Behind. It stars Chad Michael Murray and Nicholas Cage.

NICHOLAS CAGE.

Left Behind, generally considered a punchline in the non-evangelical regions of the United States, was at one time so popular among Southern Christians that as late as middle school, I still had periodic Rapture nightmares. And we weren't even churchgoers! It will be very interesting to see whether the filmmakers can recapture the magic among the faithful.

As for the rest of us, two words: Wicker Man.