Jezebel: Obama

Obama's Birth Control Compromise Is Actually Pretty Good

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:18:00 EST

Remember when we said the birth control compromise Obama would announce today for religious employees wouldn't satisfy anyone? Well, we are actually satisfied! (Mostly, anyhow.) More »

Obama to Announce Birth-Control Compromise That Satisfies No One

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:00:00 EST

Obama's reportedly going to announce some sort of compromise today on the requirement that religious employers cover birth control. What's the compromise? No one really knows yet. But apparently it's not going to make anybody happy. More »

Michelle Obama Tells Jay Leno that the President Sings to Her All the Time

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:30:00 EST

The First Lady is on The Tonight Show this evening, and here's a clip from her interview in which she reveals that Barack sings that Al Green song to her quite regularly. (Let's all take a moment to breathe through our jealousy.) But the real highlight is when she manages to make the perfect comment about Mitt Romney's own stab at campaign singing. With diplomatic skills like that, we might want to think seriously about making Michelle the Secretary of State after Hillary retires. More »

Demi Moore's 911 Call Reveals Her Daughter Was There When She Collapsed

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:00:00 EST

The much-anticipated Demi Moore 911 call has been released, and it contains a few pretty depressing revelations. The almost nine-minute-long recording captures a very chaotic scene at Demi's house. It appears there were multiple people there with her that night, one of whom was likely her 23-year-old daughter Rumer Willis. The 911 operator patiently talks to a few different people, two of whom direct questions to someone in the room they call "Ru," which is Rumer's nickname. What an unfortunate thing for her to have to witness. More »

The President Doesn't Like Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Because He Wants You to Be Poor, Says Rick Santorum

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:15:00 EST

Hateful Muppet Rick Santorum told a crowd of slack jawed Floridians that the Obama administration is against abstinence-only education because the President wants America to be poor. Not only is the idea that comprehensive sex ed is the path to poverty 17 shades of incorrect, it points out a disturbing truth: Rick Santorum literally cannot stop imagining everyone fucking. More »

Obama Doesn't Have Time for Jan Brewer's Shit, But Don't Tell Her That

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:20:00 EST

President Obama arrived in Phoenix yesterday and was greeted at the airport by Arizona governor Jan Brewer. And that was where the niceties ended. Brewer gave Obama a hand-written letter, and then the two got into a tense conversation. They were seen talking over each other, and she pointed at him. Then Obama walked away while Governor Brewer was mid-sentence. Ooh, diss. More »

The State of the Union's Most Memorable Moments

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:40:00 EST

Tonight's State of the Union address was fun! Everyone looked good, Obama delivered a solid speech, and we felt briefly warm and fuzzy about the state of our union. Let's take a look at some of the night's more memorable moments, foremost among them was this rockin' hug that President Obama gave Gabrielle Giffords. More »

The State of the Union: Discuss

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:55:00 EST

Tonight's a big night for President Obama. Starting at 9 p.m. Eastern, he'll be giving the annual State of the Union Address. Here's your chance to talk about all the drama. What do you think of the new seating arrangements? Which invited guest do you think has the most moving story? And, most importantly, which old senator do you think will doze off first? Personally, I'm hoping Obama sings the whole thing. Oh, and, if you're one of those people who doesn't have a TV, you can watch it here. Yeah, America! More »

Obama Turns Republican Rhetoric on Its Head in Roe v. Wade Anniversary Speech

Doug Barry — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:30:00 EST

In case you've ever been confused about how starkly different Democratic and Republican rhetoric can be over the issue of a woman's right to make decisions about what happens to her own body, this is what President Obama said earlier today to commemorate the anniversary of Roe v. Wade: More »

Soon, Your Employer Will Be Required to Fully Cover Your Birth Control

Erin Gloria Ryan — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:40:00 EST

Today, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius announced that the Obama administration will soon require every employer-sponsored insurance plan to fully cover the cost of birth control. Additionally, the tiny loophole that allows some religious-based employers to be exempt from the requirement won't be widened. Commence cocky, celebratory dancing... now. More »

President Obama Demands to See Betty White's Birth Certificate in the Most Adorable Way Possible

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:15:00 EST

Not Even an 'Explosive' New Book Can Make the First Lady Seem Unlikable

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:35:00 EST

New York Times reporter Jodi Kantor has a new book coming out this week called The Obamas, about—as you might have guessed from the title—the Obamas. For the book, which many are calling "explosive" for its revelations about the very private Obama White House, Kantor says she interviewed 33 members of Obama's staff. She seems to have a gotten a fairly deep look into the administration's inner workings, but particularly into Michelle Obama's role in the whole show. There are plenty of juicy details (for instance, did you know the Obamas threw a lavish Alice in Wonderland Tea Party during the worst of the recession but didn't tell anyone about it?), but mostly what emerges is a picture of a very smart woman struggling to adapt to her new life in the public eye—and mostly succeeding. More »

FBI Finally Changes Terrifyingly Narrow Definition of Rape

Erin Gloria Ryan — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:50:00 EST

Yesterday, the Obama administration announced that the definition of rape will finally be updated to include shit you already probably thought should've been in there. This is important because crime rates as reported by the FBI are used to determine how much money is allotted to anti-rape initiatives and victims' services. More »

Government Cracks Down On Employers Who Don't Accommodate Breastfeeding Moms

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:37:00 EST

Since we still regularly hear about stores asking breastfeeding moms to stop using their sexy nourishing breasts, we must conclude that a sizable portion of the populace agrees with NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne's assessment that breastfeeding is "nasty." Fortunately, the government has stepped up to protect a woman right to gross everyone out with her natural bodily functions. President Obama's health care legislation mandates that new mothers must be given adequate breaks and space to nurse on the job, and the Labor Department is starting to go after companies that don't comply. More »

Michele Bachmann Hides In Her Car, Afraid Obama's Occupier Army Will Attack Her With Facts

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:45:00 EST

Things got a little crazier than usual yesterday at Michele Bachmann's campaign HQ in Iowa. A few dozen people associated with Occupy Iowa turned up to protest outside her offices, and, unwilling to face them, Bachmann did the political equivalent of hiding under the bed. More »

Michele Bachmann Thinks The Entire Internet Is Against Her

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 09:30:00 EST

Yesterday was especially unkind to Michele Bachmann. First, news broke that her Iowa campaign director, Kent Sorenson, had defected to Camp Ron Paul. Then, she lost another top staff member, her political director Wes Enos, who resigned after he had the nerve to publicly defend Sorenson against charges that he'd illegally accepted money from Ron Paul's campaign. More »

Adorable Baby Shoves His Fingers Into Obama's Mouth

Cassie Murdoch — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:30:00 EST

President Obama spent part of his Christmas visiting with troops who are stationed at a Marine Corps Base in Hawaii. At one point he posed for a photo with 8-month-old Cooper Wall Wagner and his parents, Capt. Greg Wagner and Meredith Wagner. While Obama and his parents were all smiles, cute little Cooper casually reached up and jammed his chubby little hand into the President's mouth. Obama's reaction was pretty cute too, and he used the opportunity to make a joke at his own expense, saying Cooper must have been thinking, "I want some of that big nose." More »

Michelle Obama Would Like To Be Reincarnated As Bo The Dog

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:55:00 EST

In an interview today, Barbara Walters asked Michelle Obama who she'd choose to come back as when she dies. Mrs. Obama said Bo, the famous first dog, because, "He's got a great life." Leaving aside the obvious complication that Bo will probably die before she does, that's a pretty solid answer—and probably the only one that her husband's political rivals can't twist into something sinister-sounding. Although if they try really hard, Fox News can find a way to spin Bo into a tool of communism. ("Can you believe he thinks all dogs deserve bones?!") More »

Newt Gingrich Urges Gays Not to Vote for Him

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 11:40:00 EST

At a campaign stop in Iowa yesterday, Professional Republican Stereotype Newt Gingrich informed a gay Iowan that if he wants his homo-needs met, he'd be better off voting for President Obama in 2012. That's right: a candidate for President used time on a campaign stop to explicitly tell someone not to vote for him. And the ongoing game of GOP Nomination Hot Potato continues. More »

Obamas Present World's Least Awkward Family Photo

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:47:00 EST

Today the White House released the Obamas' new family portrait, the first since 2009, and proved that a family can be so sweet and attractive that it almost makes you angry. No one in this picture is giving her sister a dirty look, sprouting a gnarly zit, or wearing an ill-fitting and hideous dress. Suddenly all of our own favorite family portraits seem much less adorable. More »

The Obama Daughters' "Style" Should Not Be A Topic Of Discussion

Jenna Sauers — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:05:00 EST

As if the Los Angeles Times' investigation into Malia Obama's mysterious growth spurt — "Estimates put her at 5'9" or 5'10"," the once-great newspaper noted, "definitely taller than most children her age" — weren't enough, as Sasha and Malia Obama grow, they are also increasingly subject to public attention for their "style." More »

Patriotic Jackass Refuses To Hire Anyone Until Obama's No Longer President

Erin Gloria Ryan — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:00:00 EST

A Georgia business owner is doing his part of fix the economy and create jobs by refusing to hire anyone until Barack Obama is no longer the President. This accomplishes approximately dickcheese, but whatever. You show those Washington fatcats, brave but ill-informed little patriot! More »

Bill Murray Casually Chats Up The Obamas

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:35:00 EST

Actor Bill Murray, center, chats with President Barack Obama, left, and first lady Michelle Obama before an NCAA basketball game between Oregon State and Towson in Towson, Md., Saturday, Nov. 26, 2011. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky) More »

Young People Disenchanted With Obama, Would Prefer To Vote Clinton

Margaret Hartmann — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:02:00 EST

President Obama had a tremendous amount of support from young people in 2008, but like many other Americans their fondness for Obama is waning. Many Millennials were convinced that Obama would bring hope, change, and possibly a unicorn that poops cans of Red Bull, but since he only passed health care reform, ended Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and oversaw the killing of Osama Bin Laden, they're sorely disappointed. Now if Obama wants to win another term in office, he may have to convince young voters that he's still capable of meeting their unrealistic expectations. More »

President Obama's Plan to Make Your Student Loans Less Horrifying

Erin Gloria Ryan — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:15:00 EDT

Underemployed, overeducated, post-graduate sticker shock sufferers, rejoice— President Obama is going to announce a student loan plan that will allow you to pay slightly less per month and cap the amount you have to pay back per year. Someone's breaking out the Fancy Ramen tonight! More »

Walmart Moms Are The Next Political Bellwether

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:10:00 EDT

First it was the soccer moms in their minivans, then it was all those hockey moms (known for their ability to distinguish themselves from pitbulls by wearing lipstick), and, of course, we must not forget about NASCAR Dads. Now it seems the next big thing in political polling is Walmart moms. Ugh, seriously? Yes, if you believe a series of focus groups conducted this week. Here's the main thing to know about these ladies: they shop at Walmart! And they have kids at home. Apparently they make up about 15% of the electorate, and, according to pollsters who conducted the focus groups, "As a whole they are about two-thirds white, mostly under the age of 44 and fairly evenly split between Republicans and Democrats. About half make less than $50,000 a year." More »

Michelle Obama Visits Secret Service Headquarters, Leaves Terrified

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 17:40:24 EDT

First Lady Michelle Obama recently visited the place where the First Family's Secret Service sausage is made and has left stricken by terror but overflowing with gratitude. Gratiterror? Territude? Either way, her emotions around the visit were complex. More »

Petition Urges President To Disclose Existence Of Aliens

Anna North — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 13:15:00 EDT

Through a new online portal, you can now petition the president directly. And concerned citizens are using their new power to address our country's most pressing issue: aliens. More »

Rush Limbaugh Dubs New Type Of Oreo The "Or-Bam-Eo"

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:27:00 EDT

Thank goodness we have Rush Limbaugh to explain Kraft's ulterior motive for launching the Triple Double Oreo, an Oreo with three cookies and both vanilla and chocolate cream filling. Apparently it's actually a "biracial cookie," and thus it should be called the "Or-Bam-eo." Oh, Rush! This is almost as hilarious as that time you made fun of Japanese tsunami victims. More »

Crying Baby Spells Doom For Bachmann

Irin Carmon — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:00:00 EDT

Politico is going to take stock of which babies weep in the arms of which candidates. (Don't worry, guys, it's "just-for-fun.") Judging from the kickoff photo above and this popular video showing Obama calming a weeping infant, this is obviously a pro-Obama conspiracy by those media commies. More »

Colbert: "As Much A Feminist As Any Guy Who Doesn't Support Feminist Causes"

Irin Carmon — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 11:30:00 EDT

"You're a woman. Women judge other women. Harshly," said Stephen Colbert to Janny Scott last night. More »

The Media's Many Obama/Osama Screwups

Anna North — Mon, 02 May 2011 12:27:00 EDT

Fox News's misspelled headline — "Obama Bin Laden Dead" — has already become internet-infamous. But they weren't the only ones to make this mistake — below, a roundup of Obama-for-Osama typos. More »

President Obama Euchres Donald Trump

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 01 May 2011 13:42:10 EDT

President Obama's speech from the White House Press Correspondents' Dinner last night ripped on the headdeskingly dumb birther movement, poked fun at the President's alleged reliance on teleprompters, and delivered a few devastating blows to shrillionaire and would-be Presidential candidate Donald Trump. Watch the whole thing if you have time, but if you only have a few precious Sunday moments to spare, you'll find the Trump stuff from 9:16 to 9:36 and from 12:00 onward. More »

Civil Unions Now Legal In Hawaii

Anna North — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 09:45:00 EST

Hawaii's governor signed a bill into law yesterday legalizing civil unions for gay and straight couples in his state, marking another step forward for gay rights. But Obama's still "grappling" with his feelings on gay marriage. More »

A Heavily Photoshopped Khloe Kardashian Does Most Random, Bondage-y, Fashion Cover Ever

Jenna Sauers — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 11:30:00 EST

Khloe Kardashian, her late, lamented red hair, and a mask apparently made of plastic packing straps and a packet of studs from the nearest Michaels star on the cover of NY skate shop Yellow Rat Bastard's in-store mag, YRB. [Racked]

Giffords Opens Her Eyes, Sees A Room Full Of Strong Women

Irin Carmon — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 10:05:29 EST

Gabrielle Giffords opened her eyes for the first time yesterday and saw her husband — and a room full of women who were her friends and mentors. "We saw a little girl power too," said Nancy Pelosi, who was there. More »

Obama's Ready To Hear A Story, Take A Long Nap

Margaret Hartmann — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 12:44:00 EST

[Virginia, December 17: President Barack Obama sits down to take a photo during an unannounced visit to Long Branch Elementary. Obama read "Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters" and "Twas The Night Before Christmas." Image via AP.]

Ryan Seacrest, American People To Grill Obama

Anna North — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 09:32:00 EDT

President Obama will grant a radio interview today to none other than Ryan Seacrest, who's sure to ask hard-hitting questions — like, "What do you think about Justin Bieber???" More »

Obama's "It Gets Better" Video

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 10:55:00 EDT

President Obama has released a video supporting Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project in which he urges troubled kids to reach out to adults and says, "We've got to dispel the myth that bullying is a normal rite of passage." More »

Court Reinstates "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (For Now)

Anna North — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 09:36:00 EDT

An appeals court has frozen Judge Virginia Phillips's injunction to stop the enforcement of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, meaning that the policy could be enforced again while the government tries to fight Phillips's decision. More »