I have crawled out of my Orange is the New Black season four k-hole to let you all know that North West and Penelope Disick had a joint birthday party this weekend, and the attire was strictly fins and tails (i.e., mermaid-themed). Obviously, what I’m most interested in is the fact that each birthday girl got their own cake.

Oh, yeah, and Khloé Kardashian wore a lavender wig the entire time, thus deeming herself “Becky with the pink hair,” because of course. [Us Weekly]

Mariah Carey has finally spoken out about her ex Nick Cannon’s rap track “Divorce Papers”—a track most have agreed is not, um, great—expressing her surprise over claims about the custody over their two children that don’t appear to be based in reality.



As TMZ reported:

Nick released the song Thursday, in which he says, “And now I can’t see my kids ‘cause the government sucks,” and “It’s f***** up that the time you spend with your own kids is called visitation.”

Our sources insist Mariah and Nick have gotten along extremely well, especially in the child custody department. They say Mariah has never denied Nick access to the twins and Nick has always been able to see them when he wanted.

TMZ also noted that the legally separated couple have not divorced because Cannon has not signed the requisite paperwork.—contrary to his lyric “it’s been two years and I’m the one that’s been waiting.” [TMZ]

  • Britney Spears is not getting cheek implants. You can thank me later for assuaging all your fears. [Gossip Cop]
  • Who wants to write some fan fiction about this Rami Malek/Christian Slater Mr. Robot photo shoot? [JustJared]
  • RIP Prince Be. [DListed]
  • No one told me the Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? remake had Tori Spelling and lesbian vampires. [EOnline]
  • Kevin Federline, who said you could still be relevant? [Too Fab]

Update (5:02 p.m. EST): This post originally misidentified Khloé Kardashian as Kourtney Kardashian.

Contact the author at jamie.reich@jezebel.com.


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