No, President Obama Isn’t Designing ‘Girly’ Marine Hats

If you read the New York Post headline yesterday “Obama wants Marines to wear ‘girly’ hats,” and were a little skeptical that the commander-in-chief of the world’s most powerful military force was sitting at his desk in front of a series of hat sketches for new Marine uniforms saying, “This is too butch. I SAID GIRLY, GODDAMMIT!” in his best Miranda Priestly ice voice, your instincts probably served you well because that story is, most likely, poppycock.

On Wednesday, the Post ran a story about how a plan from the president himself to create a “unisex” new look for the Marine Corps. had put military officials “on the verge of swapping out the Marines’ iconic caps – known as ‘covers’ — with a new version that some have derided as so ‘girly’ that they would make the French blush.” Oh, and the plan for hat-swapping was set to cost the American taxpayer 8 million unspeakable dollars, yet another clear and present instance of the socialist gubmint squeezing its cadaverous fingers around the throat of the hardworking, God-fearing, French-hating average American.

These details should have been the first tip-off that the Post’s story was little more than bullshit, but the story gained some traction, getting a blurb from Wonkette and a lengthier tear down job from Business Insider’s Paul Szoldra. For all those news readers unable to tell when the Post is preying on the nostalgia for American military heroism that several basements’ worth of middle-aged men clutch like a safety blanket, Szoldra was pretty unequivocal about how little sense it makes that the President is personally involving himself designing hats for the Marines:

As a Marine veteran who knows how these changes actually happen, I can tell you the story is 100% B.S. The bottom line: The President doesn't involve himself in what troops happen to be wearing.

But just to make sure, I called Headquarters Marine Corps and a spokesperson confirmed that the process for making changes to Marine uniforms hasn't changed since I last left the service in 2010.

Ah, I see that you’re still skeptical. In that case, let this statement from a Marine Corps. spokesman assuage any lingering fears that the president has locked himself in a room with a mannequin and twenty hats with strict instructions for no one to disturb him until he makes a final sartorial choice for the Marines:

The President in no way, shape, or form directed the Marine Corps to change our uniform cover. We're looking for a new cover for our female Marines for the primary reason that the former manufacturer went out of business. The Marine Corps has zero intention of changing the male cover.

Thanks, Obama. We were all looking forward to some serious sartorial drama to distract us from boring debt ceiling news, but noooooo, you have to all competent and not meddlesome.

Obama wants Marines to wear ‘girly’ hats [NY Post]

The Story About Obama Wanting Marines to Wear ‘Girly’ Hats Is Complete B.S. [Business Insider]

Image via AP, Alex Brandon