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Staledating. This is what happens when the entire non-courtship feels like amicable divorce. Or, let's get serious, Guantanamo. He is the interrogator and you are Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and society has implicated you in the hijacking death of its high school girlfriend and his high school girlfriend was hijacked by some douchebag band dude once, and you will gladly assume credit for that and her death if it makes your interactions more amusing, since that is all you have; this is the fate you chose when you moved here. "Come on," he tells you, every time you meet. "You want a boyfriend. Everyone does. It is human nature. Look at you, you look so haggard. You want to stop this. I could stop this. Any time, just admit to me that that you desire a house and a lawn and a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes just like everyone else in the world, admit to me that the ideology of the hegemony is superior or it would not have claimed hegemony to begin with, and that history should have ended already, and I will hand you the keys to your freedom." Ah, freedom. More »
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