New Medical Technique: Superglue Your Baby Back Together

It’s been a rough few weeks. There was last week, when Little Sally got into the sugar again. “Let me just Superglue that bag back together so she can’t do that again,” you said, and behold, another crisis averted through the miracle of modern technology. Or the week before, when Little Bobby (named after his father Fun of course) broke your favorite collectible dish and you just had Fun Superglue it back together, no questions asked. (That one stung a little.) Or this week, when your youngest, Littlest Ashlyn had a brain aneurysm and the doctors used Superglue to stop it. Yeah, that was rough.

That aneurysm bit is a real story involving a Kansas couple and their 20-day old child. At first, they just thought they’d gotten lucky. Ashlyn was just a great kid, one who slept a lot, like a teenager but minus the sulking. But then…:

“She was probably around 10 days old, and she was sleeping a lot, and I understand that babies sleep a lot, but to the point that you couldn’t wake her up to feed her,” said Ashlyn’s mother, Gina Julian.

Then abruptly, her behavior changed. “We (went) from a baby that was very quiet to a baby that was screaming all the time and throwing up, and at that point we knew something was very wrong,” Julian said.

Her doctor didn’t know what to do, because babies are so little and they can’t tell you what they need half the time. But he’s miracle man and so he figured out how to put this very small thing into the brain to very carefully put surgical Superglue on the aneurysm and voila! Pretty soon Ashlyn will be back to doing more lying around and doing nothing but still impressing people with her mere existence.

The doctor, for one, is very impressed with the fact that this MacGyvering worked. So much so that he referred to the child, who is recovering incredibly quickly, in the manner you would a loaf of bread, fresh from the oven and prepped for eating:

“I did not know that she’d be ready that fast, and I think she’s been making steady strides since, so we’re all very happy.”