Hype Energy®, a drink Kim Kardashian has almost certainly never tasted, has released a new advertisement/short film called “Hype Energy Drink/Kim Kardashian West Film” and I have idea what the fuck it’s trying to tell us.

The 2.5-minute spot begins with an unconscious Kim, her wedding ring glimmering brightly in the foreground, lying next to a bike that has recently fallen over. We then flash back to, oh, 10 seconds earlier, and see a fully conscious Kim (with bangs!) riding a bike filled with cans of Hype Energy® around a parking lot before suddenly tipping over - presumably because she was too busy looking at the Hype Energy® production crew and not the obstacles ahead of her?

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Once Bike Riding Kim is unconscious and likely concussed on the pavement, we enter her mind as she transforms into a Marie Antoinette-like figure in a dream state. Marie Kimtoinette is asleep on a couch, and we’re allowed to marvel at her powdered cleavage for a few moments before entering an Inception-like dream within a dream in which Marie Kimtoinette is wearing a different dress! She’s also standing! But then it’s back to sleepy, horizontal Marie Kimtoinette, who reaches for a crystal glass filled with Hype Energy® and takes a sip. The drink’s unique blend of colors, bubbles, and energy wakes both Marie Kimtoinette and Bike Riding Kim.

Then off she goes, cycling to the nearest emergency room for a CT scan.

Drink Hype Energy®, I guess!


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

GIF via screengrab.