New Kia Commercial Features Sexed-Up Lady Hamsters

Just when you thought advertising couldn't get any more ridiculous, Kia went and included sexualized lady hamsters in its Weird Science-like commercial for the 2015 Soul. WHY. WHY. WHY.

This monstrosity comes to us via AdWeek. The concept: Nerdy versions of those humanoid Kia hamsters who just won't go away are in the lab, working on an electric car, I guess? A regular hamster scampers into their weird chamber of EV magic (why do the hamsters have a pet hamster??? confused), "Animals" by Maroon 5 plays, and out steps a sexy lady hamster. Science! The humanoid hamster science guys realize what's happened, hop in their jacked-up electric car, dash to the pet store, buy a bunch of hamsters, and create more sexy lady hamsters. Then they have a laboratory dance party.

I am not exaggerating ANY of this! It all happens! This is a real advertisement!

So I guess the pitch is: Buy a 2015 Kia Soul EV, for all the times you need to run to the pet store for sexual companionship. Or something.

On the one hand, why are the male hamsters schlubs, while the lady hamsters are catsuit-wearing sexpots? The double standard is with us always, my friends.

On the other, what the fuck is wrong with you, Kia? Seriously? The breakdancing hamsters weren't enough? You had to introduce sexy lady hamsters, with a steaming side of Maroon 5? What about ANY of this sounded like a good idea to you???? I want some explanation on my desk by Monday at the latest.