New Fitness Bracelet Delivers Electric Shock if You Don't Work Out

Do you like jogging, but wish it was a little more like a Saw movie and/or dystopian nightmare in which thigh gaps have become the global currency? Well, today in horrible ideas: A new wearable fitness tracker that actually zaps users with an electric shock if they stop exercising will be hitting the market later this year.

Via the Telegraph:

The creator cites a piece of research from Duke University which suggests that as much as 40 per cent of our days are filled with habitual behaviour, rather than directed by conscious choice. If a Pavlok user can make positive decisions and actions a habit then they will be able to continue them in the long-term, he argues.

Like many fitness trackers, the Pavlok will be able to record how many steps you take in a day. This means it will be able to automatically shock you if you fail to reach a certain target. It will also be able to set targets based on GPS data, enabling you to set targets like going to your regular gym every day.

...A testimonial on the Pavlok website from "Justine D." reads: "Now I get up at 7 without pressing the snooze button, do 10 mins of mindfulness meditation, read a few pages of a philosophical or poetry book, and write. These are all habits now!"

I mean. Fitness is great. And habits are hard to break. And people are desperate. I get it! And a little electric shock isn't that bad...I guess (?!!?!?!!?!?), in the scheme of unpleasant things you could do to your skin.

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But is this REALLY where we're at with the cultural directive to become and remain thin at all cost? Literal torture? That probably doesn't even work?

YOU GUYS. MAY I HUMBLY POSIT THAT THINGS MIGHT BE VERY SLIGHTLY OFF THE RAILS.