New Ads Stress That Thick, Juicy Burgers Are Definitely Not for Ladies

By Mark Copyranter | March 28, 2014 | 5:20pm

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One of them, unsurprisingly, is via Carl’s Jr.—the Western X-tra Bacon Thickburger. The point is shoved home via a fake Mystique morphing into a beefy dude before she takes a bite.

It’s a co-op ad promoting X-Men: Days of Future Past in which the not-Mystique has to “man-up” to fit the thing into her dainty little blue mouth. Why not just use Wolverine? Well, he wouldn’t fit into Carl’s/Hardees (same company) long-running “Slutburger” campaign. Blue tits do.

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They are unapologetic about their advertising approach, stating in their own press release: “We believe in putting hot models in our commercials, because ugly ones don’t sell burgers.” “That’s just the way it is” was their tagline and their answer to critics.

But they’re not using sex creatively, like the Mad Men of the 1960s often did. They’re just unsubtly using women as objects, most notably in this soft porn video that they’ve since deleted from their YouTube page. Their commercials are an embarrassment to the already-embarrassing ad industry.

The two ad agencies that have created these ads are David & Goliath (who made most of the celeb Slutburger spots you’ve seen featuring Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Kate Upton, et al, and 72andSunny, their current shop.

The Carl’s/Hardees CEO Andy Puzder is an Obamacare-hating Republican it should be noted.

The second new burger females can’t eat is KFC’s Mighty Burger. This ad, via Australia, is subtler in its exclusion of women. It features men having silent moments, which aren’t awkward, because chromosomes.

“Sorry girls: did that freak you out?”

So much nonverbal communication—I’ll give all you “girls” a moment to recover from your freakouts. Here, KFC scores a daily sexism double by also insinuating that men are fucking idiots. The Mighty—”it’s only two words.”