On Watch What Happens Live, aka the Algonquin Round Table on LSD, Neil Patrick Harris offered an apology for showcasing all that pesky death that ruined your enjoyment of America's Fourth Most Important Awards Show, aka the Emmys:
"I think we did too much of the death," he admitted during a Thursday night stop on Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live." "We honored, like, five people [Jonathan Winters, Jean Stapleton, Cory Monteith, James Gandolfini, and writer Gary David Goldberg] — not because they were our favorite five who died, but just that they were important."
Harris clarified that he doesn't discount the impact of the lives of those who died, but expressed difficulty at being able to turn the show back to comedy after so many sad interludes:
"Cory Monteith’s death was a big deal, and Gandolfini’s death was a big deal," Harris said of the choices. "But I don't think we thought through the fact that we'd spend so much time throughout the show bringing it down with sadness. I thought Edie Falco talking about Gandolfini was a really effective moment on the show, but it made everyone get really sad."
Personally, I thought those memorial segments were waaaaaaaaaaay less depressing than watching Modern Family win yet another 'Best Comedy' award, but hey, that's just me.
- The Jennifer Love Hewitt Hand Job Show aka The Client List has been cancelled NOOOOOOOO WHY DOES THE WORLD KILL BEAUTIFUL THINGS NOOOOOOOO [Huffington Post]
- Haterz, please disperse promptly to the left. Rihanna has been named the latest MAC Cosmetic's VIVA GLAM! spokesperson. (BTW, the hardest part of my first day at Jezebel was figuring out the correct method of capitalization for MAC and VIVA GLAM! and corresponding exclamation point placement. The AP Style Book gives zero shits about this. ZERO.) [Los Angeles Times]
- The House of Honey Boo Boo dressed as royal members of House Kardashian for Halloween. And then, the summer sun descended into the horizon for the last time, and the age of the Long Winter befell the land. [US Magazine]
- HAHAHAHAHA "Is Adam Levine Kmart's answer to Calvin Klein?" I cannot make a joke that is funnier than this headline. Except to point out I have six dresses from the Sofia Vergara collection for Kmart. [Daily Mail]
- Nicole Kidman says Tom Cruise was not the love of her life. That's because his heart belongs to Xevulia, a lesser known sub-god that serves Xenu who I did not just totally make up. [Daily News]
- On Friday, Lady Gaga showed up at Applebee's in El Paso in a pair of Hanes sweatpants stained with nacho cheese, pulled up a chair to the bar, ordered a plate of Potato Twisters and asked the bartender to turn the TV to The Goldbergs. Or something. [Huffington Post]
- OHMMMGGHHISFALSKDFFF;;;FFG Jaime Lynn-Sigler's dog is sooooooo cute you guise ahahhhhhh. Oh, also she has a baby. [US Magazine]
- Miley Cyrus and Benji Madden had a 'steamy makeout sesh.' Stop trying to make 'sesh' happen, E Online. [E Online}
- Stop, everyone, please stop what you are doing right now and go vote in this very important poll and exercise the right to have your voice heard like our founding fathers died for at the Boston Tea Party and stuff. [PopCrush]
- There are exactly 17,234,012 pictures of Kate Hudson 'flashing her bra,' for some reason. [Just Jared]
- There are also apparently celebrities who are 'surprisingly short.' [StarCrush]
- Watch Joe Scarborough lose his shit when he finds out Michelle Obama watches his show. It's OK, Joe. We get it. We would all spontaneously combust if we found out she had even glanced sideways in our direction for a split second. [Mediaite.com]
And now, to memorialize the passing of the Jennifer Love Hewitt Hand Job Show, we here at Jezebel will now commence the same sacred tradition as our ancient blog ancestors engaged in when they mourned their dead—watching a Boyz II Men video.
RIP SIMULATED HAND JOBS. :-( :-( :-(
First Courtney and Doug, and now this. There is a vast emptiness in the Universe tonight, my friends.