My Robot Boyfriend's Name Is Henry, and He Is Very Good For Me

Here’s something to stave off my existential loneliness and slow realization that I will never have human children: an unblinking face staring at me from the couch when I flip on the lights in my apartment after a long day at work. He doesn’t have a job, or hobbies, or a general sense of self, but that’s okay because he:

has a penis
sits quietly while I say words and later recites them back to me

That’s Henry!

We’ve been here a thousand times before, since sexbot companies started parading around their creepy cast of woman models like intellectually-adjustable Harmony, rape doll “Frigid Farrah,” and “Cow Kylie” (just guess) and oh my GOD scroll to 2:06 to see the clip of the man removing a mock vagina with a screwdriver.

But Henry’s special characteristic, according to Matt McMullen, founder of Abyss Creations, is that he staves off loneliness. The Daily Mail quotes McMullen:

Women have the same issues of loneliness as men. People call them sex dolls but mostly it’s about companionship. In this world of computers people are missing out on human interaction.

“Hey babe,” he might say, if that’s the kind of dialogue I’m into.

Henry’s accent tells me he comes from Britain, but photographs reveal he comes from a hangar where he was was once a headless body hanging from a meat hook.

As of April 2017, the New York Times reported that Henry’s makers at Abyss Creations ship 600 sex dolls annually.