I know we're all sick of Miley Cyrus, but we need to talk about her album release party. Mostly because a photo of a "general view of the atmosphere" shows a dilapidated bear pinata dangling desolately between two large balloons that spell out "F U."
At the party, Miley was havin' a good time. She ground upon Mike WiLL Made It and there was abundant neck kissing; she motor-boated Amazon Ashley, the burlesque dancer she infamously objectified in her VMA performance; she made out with an unidentified blond woman (Leslie?); she shared a triple kiss with a little person and a man who inexplicably showed up to Miley Cyrus' album release party in a grey suit. Miley Cyrus, for reference, was wearing a bra. Everyone else was probably wearing a bear costume. WHO BROUGHT THE GREY SUIT?
Anyway, it sounds like a terrible time because she reportedly had the DJ turn off "Party in the USA." [Us]
In other Miley Cyrus news, she bet mega-producer Dr. Luke that "Wrecking Ball" would hit #1 on the Billboard Top 100. It did, so he now owes her a $10,000 toilet. "I'll be thinking of him every time I go," says Miley. Won't we all. [NY Daily News]
This is the last Miley news of today, I promise! Her name has been removed from all Hannah Montana CDs on iTunes and replaced solely with "Hannah Montana." "See You Again" is now listed as a Hannah Montana song, for instance. In addition, Hannah Montana is now listed as the lead actress in Hannah Montana: The Movie, which is some weird postmodern shit. [ONTD]
While she was in New Zealand, Rihanna got a traditional Maori tattoo on her hand — using traditional methods (i.e., a hammer and a chisel into her skin). New Zealand musician Tiki Taane has graciously uploaded a video of the process, if you enjoy watching famous people kind of wincing but smiling gamely. [NY Daily News]
In absolutely heartbreaking news, Lea Michele gave her first interview since Cory Monteith's death; this is her first time speaking publicly about losing him. Regarding her decision to stay on the show and film a tribute episode, she said, "Everyone is asking: ‘Is it hard to do this? Is it hard to be back at work?’, but the truth is it’s no harder at work than it is in life so we might as well all be together as a family supporting each other to get through this together."
When asked what she wants fans to remember about Cory, she responded:
"I really woke up every single day feeling like I was being in some sort of spell or something, that I was lucky enough to have him in my life. I feel like what happened with Cory (the cause of his death) was this big [holding her fingers together to reflect a miniscule amount] in the scheme of who he was and his life. There was no greater man than Cory, so for the time we spent together I consider myself very lucky."
- Alan Thicke told his son Robin Thicke to "adopt a few Ethiopian kids" in order to get very famous. NOPE. But today we learned that apparently the tendency to use other human beings as props is genetic. [Bossip]
- Charlie Hunnam is taking his Fifty Shades of Grey role "very seriously," so that makes one of us. [E!]
- Hayden Panettiere's Engagement Ring: All the Details! Um, it's an engagement ring. [E!]
- Vanessa Hudgens wants to go to college and study film or photography. Also, she uttered the most adorably grandma-sounding sentence of all time: "[Clubs] are always very ego-filled and people get up to mischief." PEOPLE GET UP TO MISCHIEF. [E!]
- Richard Belzer, a.k.a. Detective Munch, will be leaving SVU. Noooooooo. But I do hope his character makes his exit via an alien abduction. [ONTD]
- Here's Charlotte Gainsbourg, Uma Thurman and Shia LaBeouf making orgasm faces. [Hollywood Reporter]
- Ke$ha adopted a homeless kitty. He seems very stoic. [ONTD]
- Lana del Rey went to Target with her family. She hid from the paparazzi by wielding a giant fan. Is that ironic? I can't tell. [ONTD]
- JUST YESTERDAY I said aloud, "What happened to Freddie Prinze, Jr.?" And now the universe has answered my musing: he's back, and he has a six-pack. Huh. [People]
- Another burning question answered: how did the Jenners react to Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner's split on Instagram????? I'M DYING JUST TELL ME ALREADY!!! [OK!]