Michele Bachmann Calls Moses America's 'Greatest Lawmaker'

On Tuesday, noted idiot Michele Bachmann took to the House floor to give a farewell speech fully rooted in the batshit reality that exists in her mind and her mind only. In another downright superb display of the ignorance that’s she’s shown consistently since we all learned her name, Bachmann credited Moses as our nation’s “greatest lawmaker” because God gave him the Ten Commandments.

The speech began well enough, with Bachmann waxing poetic about what an honor it is to serve in the House of Representatives, which, okay. I guess we’re going to ignore the fact that the election to the House of people like, oh say, Michele Bachmann dilutes the “honor” of the thing, but, sure.

When she got into Moses Mode, that’s when Bachmann really started to sing. Via Raw Story:

“Because you see, Mr. Speaker, Moses is given for the full honor of the greatest lawgiver in this chamber, because he was chosen by the God that we trust to be entrusted with the basis of all law. The ‘basis of all law’ as was written by Blackstone, the famous English jurist, was the Ten Commandments, that were given by none other than the God we trust on Mount Sinai,”

Let’s be honest, in this particular scenario, Moses was basically a bike messenger. God gave him the two tablets and then Moses had to go tell everyone else. From what we know, he really had nothing to do with the actual creation of the Ten Commandments.

But sorry, that’s just me asking some logical questions. And to be fair, Bachmann is not completely wrong here. America was founded by a group of Christian men. So although they made themselves pretty clear about that whole separation of church and state business, clearly aspects of our nation’s laws were influenced by Christian morals and beliefs—including the Ten Commandments. In a way, Moses did influence the laws.

That being said: nah girl. Because even if we give her that, how many of the Ten Commandments do our laws really honor? Thou shalt not kill? Sure, unless it’s self-defense or an accident or you’re a cop who’s afraid of black people. Thou shalt not steal. Yeah, basically, unless you work on Wall Street. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Ok, if you count professional football as holy.

Bachmann then goes on to say that America became such a prosperous nation because it was built upon the Ten Commandments.

“Mr. Speaker, it could be no coincidence that this nation, knowing and enjoying the heights of such great happiness and such great prosperity, that it could be built upon that foundation of the Ten Commandments and of the law given by the God in whom we trust.”

No, I’m pretty sure America gained prosperity because of massive land theft and slavery and robber barons and wars and a whole lot of other things that God probably wouldn’t approve of. This also ignores the fact that America is not the only country in the world founded under Christian principles, but again, there I go with that logic.

The upside here, and it’s a good one, is that Michele Bachmann no longer has any official influence over the governing of America. Good riddance. Hopefully see you never.