I don’t want kids, but if I did, you bet your ass I’d want obstetrician and “motherfucker” du jour ~~Deadpool~~ Ryan Reynolds to stand at the foot of my hospital bed, hands on my ankles, yelling at me to push (but yell in a sexy, Ryan Reynolds-y way).

But can one be both a motherfucker and the baby deliverer? Aren’t there rules about that—like, you must pick one dirty deed or the other, but not both? Eh, whatever. Saint Ryan can do no wrong.

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