Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

Martha Stewart is a perfect specimen of a human, which is why it's so nice when she decides to drop out of her castle in the sky and come down to earth to chat with the good people on Earth about everything you're doing wrong. And as she revealed in a Reddit AMA Thursday, you're doing a lot wrong.

For instance, she's has a lot of thoughts about you and your dirty home:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

And your tattoos:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

And what kind sex you're having:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

Your use of truffle oil is sickening:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

As are the "snacks" you're serving at your parties:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is


Don't bug her about online dating:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

Those of you who worry about the past too much should stop:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

As should those of you who insist upon asking sexy questions about how to clean dildos, like Ask a Clean Person columnist Jolie Kerr:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

The only person that is free of Martha's judgment is Snoop Dogg. Martha would always like Snoop Dogg to join the party. Snoop, please call Martha:

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

Martha Stewart's Reddit AMA Reveals She Has No Idea What a Dildo Is

Image via Aaron Davidson/Getty