Jezebel: Mark Penn

Finally: Race-Baiting Repubs Get Honest About Their Racism

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:00:00 EDT

Are you sick of the Sotomayor hearings and stoking of racial tensions? Racialicious' Latoya Peterson and I are as well, but we talk about it anyway, in addition to Mark Penn's elitism, Mark Sanford's latest disappearance and Rahm Emanuel's allure. More »

Mark Penn Defends Men, Idiocy

Megan Carpentier — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:20:00 EDT

Mark Penn decries the rates of male incarceration, alcoholism and educational attainment. Then he whines about the gain in female life expectancy over men's since 1900, failing to note it probably has something to do with the 99% drop in maternal mortality in that time. Fail. [Wall Street Journal, CDC] More »

James Carville Blames Mark Penn For Hillary's Loss

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:40:00 EDT

James Carville dishes about the Hillary Clinton campaign in his new book, placing plenty of the blame at Mark Penn's feet for pushing the aura of inevitability and not knowing about proportional primaries. [Plum Line] More »

Barack Obama Stays Hot While We Freeze

Megan Carpentier — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:30:00 EST

... [wipes drool]
Barack Obama is on vacation with his family in Kailua, Hawai'i this week. [Huffington Post]

Presidential Poll: Women Scorn Sexist Media, Feminists

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:30:00 EST

Tina Brown's internet baby The Daily Beast recently hired former Clinton strategist Mark Penn's firm to conduct a study about Americans' perception of sexism following the Presidential election. Leaving aside the situational irony of hiring a firm whose named partner convinced Hillary Clinton to unsex herself to prove that she can be Commander In Chief, it has some interesting (if sometimes obvious) results. Basically, people think sexism still exists, but they still hate feminists. WTF? More »

Kwame Kilpatrick Waves Goodbye to Denver Dreams

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:30:02 EDT

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, facing perjury charges in one case and assault charges in another, has been ordered to remain in Detroit instead of attending the Democratic convention. He tried to argue that his presence was really important to the Democratic party, but if Obama doesn't feel it's necessary to play nice with John Edwards, it's no surprise that his spokesman denied wanting Kilpatrick around either. [Washington Post]
In other convention news, Hillary Clinton's going to get the opportunity to watch people vote for her Presidential campaign one last time before really, totally turning her delegates over to Obama. [Washington Post]
And while some people I know are against Evan Bayh for VP because of war-mongeriness, others will probably turn against him upon finding out that he'd bring Mark Penn aboard as an adviser. Ugh. [Attackerman, The Atlantic]

Who Knows Things? John McCain Knows Things!

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:30:08 EDT

John McCain told a crowd that the "people who decide these things" told him there would be 2-3 Supreme Court vacancies soon. Of course, those are lifetime appointments, so it's either that McCain's in contact with Death or he's forgotten one of the fundamentals of the third branch of our democracy. [HuffPo]
Speaking of idiocy, Attorney General Michael Mukasey decided today that no one will be punished for the illegal hiring practices in the Department of Justice under Alberto Gonzales. You know, because no one cares, except for those people denied jobs for not being Republican-y enough. And maybe the people fired. And those people transferred for not complying. And Democrats. Well, hardly anyone, anyway! [International Herald Tribune]
In a blast from the past, corrupt bribe-taking Republican Congressman Bob Ney is getting out of the slammer soon! Democrats have already started a collection to send him to Minneapolis for Labor Day, since he helped them so much in the 2006 elections. [HuffPo]

Memo To Hillary Clinton: You Should Have Done The Sexism Speech

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 10:00:00 EDT

The Atlantic's new issue has a long piece, out today, focusing on a number of Hillary Clinton insiders' memos and e-mails which paint her campaign at least as dysfunctional as you suspected and probably more so. Even author Joshua Green was amazed at how much paper he was given to wade through, saying "paranoid dysfunction breeds the impulse to hoard." With that, Spencer Ackerman and I dive right in, trying to figure out whether Mark Penn is a sexist, a genius, an idiot or some combination thereof while parsing the non-decision not to give The Sexism Speech. More »

Raise Your Hand, John Edwards, If You're Sure That This Is The End

Megan Carpentier — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Olympics? What Olympics? For political watchers, the possible end of the political career of former Senator/Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards, most recently on Democrats' wish list as Attorney General in an Obama Administration, is the functional equivalent of the Olympics. So although one of us was on a little vacation, Spencer Ackerman and I parse the news and the consequences, who might replace Johnny in that AG slot, the Clinton emails, freedom of the press hounds we don't like, that little Georgian thing and why using our position on the UN Security Council to forgo any punishment for invading countries no one wanted us to invade might, unsurprisingly, bite us on the ass again. More »

Vanity Fair And The New Yorker Expose The Clandestine Operations That Sabotaged Iran, Hillary's Wardrobe

Moe — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:30:00 EDT

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Hola, patriots! We have a treat for you today at Crappy Hour: we read two really long stories for you, Gail Sheehy's first rough draft of the demise of Hillaryland in Vanity Fair and Seymour Hersh's investig-planation of what exactly your tax dollars are doing in Iran. And oh my goodness, the stuff we knew that we tried to forget knowing that, no no no, really just happened! Like how Hillary and Bill tried to pressure Obama into making her his running mate. Or how Admiral William Silver Fox Fallon quit because he was sick of hearing about the CIA funding a bunch of druggies and Al Qaeda surrogates just because they support "regime change" in Iran. Or how Hillary stopped paying Patti Solis Doyle. But anyway, we dug through and found some juicy revelations. Like the identity of the undermining aide behind Hillary's terrible chunky jewelry and ill-fitting pantsuits! (Although not that of the hot guy standing behind her in all the pictures. Yet!) Anyway, that, Al Qaeda in Algeria, a few memory lane changes with Gang Of Four and Time's Man of the Year 1951, and the poor Chinese guys locked up at Gitmo, parsed by me and Megan after the jump. More »

Bureaucracy Comes For Us All, Gitmo Or No

Megan Carpentier — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:30:36 EDT

Moe is stuck in bureaucratic hell this morning, so who in the world am I going to call at 9:30 to help me write Crappy Hour? That's right, it's the Megan and Spencer Windy Attackerman show this morning, as we bring you more delicious detainee rights goodness, with a side of hate for Doug Feith, John Yoo, Robert Mugabe and mornings in general. More »

Bitterroot, Or How We Came To Discuss Charlie Black And Mark Penn

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Moe's off having a coughing fit and "enjoying" the side effects of DayQuil, so it's up to me to introduce you to one of John McCain's top advisors Charlie Black, aka, The Man Who Can't Be Fired. God, I want to be this guy, and not just because I keep getting fired. He can fuck up, he can have a negative story published about him every week and McCain will keep him around because... well, we're not really sure why, actually. But check in with Utah's liquor laws, my hatred for cover charges, Catholicism, Brutus, the 'burbs, Hillary, Chelsea, Barack and the Old Guy (you know, the regular crowd) and everyone's favorite guy to hate on, Mark Penn. It's all after the jump, people. Click through so Moe can afford her DayQuil tomorrow. More »

Bigger Than Burning Man.

Moe — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Seventy five thousand people showed up to see Obama's biggest yet speech in Portland, Oregon yesterday. Firstly, that represents something like one-seventh the entire population of Portland and undoubtedly the biggest-ever congregation of fixed-gear bicycles. In fact, the crowd was bigger than pretty much any outdoor rock concert including Burning Man (though not including the Stones at Altamont Speedway) and it was in a city, a city we can only imagine smells kind of awful right now, if only because the coffee in Portland lends itself to really foul shits. Anyway, a friend of mine used to call Portland "White People Gone Wild." It is not such a terrible shock this crowd digs Obama. So as this woeful chapter in our nation's history concludes I can only hope the WPGW contingent will stop saying ludicrous things like the election of John McCain would be "eight more years" of Bush. To say such a thing cheapens the trauma of the World's Worst Presidency and further tries our almost thoroughly bankrupt national capacity for nuance, a capacity Obama is trying to restore. That and lots more with Megan and I, after the jump. More »

The "And You Thought Yesterday Was Bad" Edition

mcarpentier — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:30:00 EDT

After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]

Hillary Clinton Paid $10 Million For This Dude And Obama Got Samantha Power For Free?

Moe — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Never thought I'd say this but: I missed crapping out the Crappy Hour. Amateur hack punditry is an addiction, an addiction that will eventually kill us all, and let me tell you, not being able to glibly offer congratz to the Clintons for earning more than $100 million in the past seven years, or new Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain for making $84 million in one year alone, or shadowy greasy haired newly-ousted Clinton pollster Mark Penn for squeezing $10 million out of the Clinton campaign and only three hundred grand from the Colombians — someone's getting paid by the wrong Colombians, Mark! — it was tough. I actually found myself reading...books! (Short ones, don't worry!) Megan Carpentier of Glamocracy fills me in on the really important memes I missed, briefly eulogizes Charlton Heston and tells me the most awesome wonk pollster pun of Campaign 2008 after the jump. More »

MLK Flip-Flopper John McCain Gets Booed In Memphis

mcarpentier — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:30:00 EDT

The McCain strategist who thought it was a brilliant idea to have him give a speech at the Lorraine Motel on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's assassination to apologize for having voted against MLK Day should probably not keep his job. [CBS News]

John McCain's Speeches Suck; Samantha Power Is The Comeback Kid

mcarpentier — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:00:00 EDT

This was one of those days where, a little hungover, I totally wanted to talk about important stuff like the teenage stripper or how the crappy Mark Penn might have finally done something that Hillary will be forced to fire him over or even racism in Pennsylvania, but Moe was away and I was all like, oh, dammit, I miss her! It's weird to talk about underage strippers with a dude, let alone racism in Pennsylvania when neither of us has ever lived there, so Spencer Ackerman of the Washington Independent and Too Hot for TNR and I talk about how McCain sucks, Samantha Power is making amends and, of course, tonight's Battlestar: Galactica. Watch as we continue to cheat on Moe after the jump. More »

Chelsea Clinton Made A Girl Fat!

Moe — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 10:00:21 EST

Look, it's Chelsea Clinton on the cover of a magazine! What impeccable timing, New York! Your empathetic portrayal of Hillary's pretty (and pretty reticent) daughter who would rather be seen than heard pushes my "I totally want to read this right now" buttons almost as hard as that April Fools Day themed Modern Love column in the Sunday Times. But hey: It's the Monday after the Oscars, and who really wants to talk about fucking Ralph Hater? (Okay, we'll talk a little bit about Nader.) After the jump Glamocracy's Megan Carpentier and I tabulate the columnist calls for Clinton to get out before she does something even more desperate than circulating photos of Obama dressed up like a homicide bomber and ponder the tragic fate of the poor girl who got excommunicated by Chelsea's Mean Girl gatekeepers at Stanford. More »

Broke Hillary Fires Loyal Hill Force One Captain Patti Solis Doyle

Moe — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 10:00:48 EST

Oh Patti Solis Doyle, we hardly knew ya! Maybe it is just that you resemble Rachael Ray, but even though your job running the Clinton campaign was surely tortuous, you always seemed so sunny and approachable. Unlike your boss's husband, we really did have a soft spot for you. But while you were masterminding such lighthearted and humanizing moments as that prank whereby Hillary pretended she was a flight attendant on her very own jet, Hill Force One was burning precarious amounts of campaign cash on its way to crash landings in Nebraska, Maine and Washington State. For the record, Megan and I think it was stupid to fire you on the eve of the eve of the three big Beltway caucuses. But if it means you'll be freed up to go on the talk show circuit and bump that annoying Terry McAuliffe from his designated position as the go-to Hillary mouthpiece, well, at least there is that. In other news Obama won a bunch of states, Bush wants to execute a bunch of Guantanamo detainees and John Edwards, like Natalie Imbruglia, is torn... More »