Last week, we told you about elusive chanteuse Mariah Carey’s upcoming “reality special,” set to premiere on E! later this year. It was described rather generally by Us Weekly as a “docu-style series that chronicles the behind-the-scenes drama of her Las Vegas residency,” but thanks to a report by The New York Times, we know a little more.

First of all, it’s called Mariah’s World. Second of all, it’ll be nothing like Dave’s World. Third of all, Mariah “refuses” to call it a reality show.

The series, she said, is all about getting to know her better and not, as she put it, “Here I am, getting my nails done.”

“I thought it would be a good opportunity to kind of, like, show my personality and who I am, even though I feel like my real fans have an idea of who I am,” she explained. “A lot of people have misperceptions about this and that.”

A “this and that” who won’t be featured in the show, however, are Dem Babies. Carey says her children, Monroe and Moroccan, “haven’t been filmed at all yet,” and will likely have no more than “a couple of moments” in the show’s eight episodes.

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That’s fine with me, as small children are boring and dumb (though this news is definitely upsetting my coworker Kara Brown). But there was one revelation in Carey’s Times piece that almost made me swear off watching it entirely. Her fiancé, That Billionaire (aka James Packer), “won’t be filmed” at all. Says Carey:

“He’s a legit businessman. It’s not really his thing to be, like, traipsing all over Europe and hanging out with all my crew and dancers and singers.”

This is a travesty, as I have been dying to know how those two interact with each other for the past several months. I wanted to see whether or not they feed each other with their hands, speak to each other exclusively in whispers, and watch Frasier reruns every night before bed, as they do in my dreams.

But wait, Mariah’s World may be worth watching after all!

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Ms. Carey began a recent interview by declaring that she was “really tired” because she had just awakened. It was a little after 5 p.m. in Los Angeles. She admitted that she was a “night owl” and that she had spent the better part of the previous night rehearsing.

And, and, and:

“She cannot speak the day before a performance,” Mr. Olde said. “She knows exactly what she wants but she has to communicate through writing or sign language, and it’s a sort of a joke within her group, because she has to preserve her voice.”

I’m no hotshot TV executive, but let me tell you something, if I owned E! I would 100% greenlight a docu-series about a perpetually tired and frequently mute Mariah Carey yawning her way from venue to venue around the world while speaking in a version of sign language that she almost certainly invented herself.

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Give me 10 seasons. Release them on VR. Let me Strange Days myself into that reality. I’d be there til infinityyyyyyyYYyYyyyyYYYY.


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

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Image via Getty.