Man Wins Right to Pee All Over His Apartment Floor

In Germany, a sensible country that is known for its cleanliness, a judge ruled that a tenant can pee all over his apartment floor without worrying about the wrath of his landlord or the damage his acidic urine may cause to the floor.

According to the Guardian, a German landlord kept part of his tenant’s security deposit because the dude had “allegedly damaged the marble floor of a toilet by sprinkling it with urine.”

Ew. And how long does urine have to sit on a marble floor to eat through the material? Don’t answer that.

Apparently the sitting-versus-standing debate for men in bathrooms is a big deal in Germany. Some establishments even have signs that discourage peeing standing up, and if you’re sitting down to relieve yourself, you’re called “Sitzpinkler,” which is a derogatory term.

But Judge Stefan Hank says dudes can legally pee all over the floor and leave it for as long as they would like, for freedom’s sake. So, for today, the pee-pee wars rage on in Angela Merkel’s great land.