​Man Steals Dog, TV from Woman On First Date, Returns Items Days Later

Over the weekend, one poor woman went through quite the ordeal. Last Thursday night, a New Jersey woman went on a first date with a man she met online. Seems pretty normal, right? Well, she decided to bring him home, and while she had her back turned in another room, buddy took the opportunity to take off with not only her television but also her Yorkshire terrier. Yes, it sucks to lose a $3,000 television, but HE TOOK HER DOG. Yes, I am very glad that she was not physically hurt or assaulted. But GODDAMMIT, HE TOOK THE WOMAN'S DOG.

But in a nice turn of events, police say that at 3:00am Saturday morning, the woman called back to say the TV and the dog were back on her front lawn. Maybe her paramour-cu-burglar came to his senses? Maybe he realized that he actually did have feelings for her as soon as he got home on Friday and went through a hilarious two-day ordeal (with a cameo from Zach Galifianakis) trying to return her items? Or maybe the guy figured out that he was officially a criminal whose victim had way too much information on him and figured if he gave the stuff he stole back, it would make everything okay? Ugh, this whole thing is pretty messed up.

Of course, as often is the case with, um, online dating, the woman had a whole slew of photos of the dude, and the police say they know his identity and may or may not press charges. Welp, I guess the moral of this story is… if you're going to be an idiot, don't be an idiot about it. Seriously, that's the best I could come up with.

Image via Getty.