Man Caught Taping Ex In Shower: The Hidden Camera Was for Chickens!

File this under “most implausible defenses you’ve ever heard”: A Montana man alleges that he wasn’t taping his ex by hiding a camera underneath her shower’s soap tray; he was using it to record chickens he had been washing. You know, because chickens are shy.

Terrill Frank Stoltz now faces a $500 fine and up to six months in jail for his unlawful recording. Stoltz, who was still living with his ex when he decided to start recording her, says that he just forgot to take the camera out of the shower after giving some chickens a luxurious bath, but no one’s buying that story. First, why would anyone record chicke — never mind, I don’t want to know. Second of all, if he were recording chickens (for reasons that Stoltz would probably say are not nefarious in nature), then why hide the camera and ruin property to install it? Why not just film the chickens out in the open? Stoltz had actually made a hole for the camera! And he’s now facing charges for that, too.

The New York Daily News reports that Stoltz was discovered when his ex saw the camera (thankfully, he didn’t hide it well), blocked it and then saw Stoltz wandering around the apartment with camera equipment, not even bothering to cover his tracks.

See, this is why you don’t let your exes live with you. Just give them back their stuff and tell them to move on, because the best thing that can happen is you have sex with them and regret it and the worst (well, one of the worst) is that they tape you in the shower and then do something with the videotape. And then everyone knows a) what you look like naked and b) that you sometimes talk to yourself in the shower and narrate the entire experience from the soaping of your neck to the shampooing of your chest hair. Seriously, let’s hope this dude gets the maximum penalty.