In February, Jezebel’s own Julianne Escobedo Shepherd predicted that we would all be wearing a specific style of wide-legged soft denim pants in 2016. Give her one million points because she was right—with one caveat.

We aren’t going to be wearing the high-fashion Marques Almeida pants Rihanna wore in the article, we are going to wear their hideous emo sister: the JNCO jean.

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A number of the brand’s most beloved “heritage” designs are now available on preorder. For just under $70, you can get the Kangaroo, Bulldog, Gorilla, and Mammoth cuts, all available with 32 inch leg openings; for under $60, the Blue J Twin Cannon and Crown Twin Cannon with a more sensible 26 inch leg opening can be yours. Even more casual skaters can opt for JNCO SHORTS that fall perfectly below the kneecap.

Not ready to go full ‘90s burnout? Opt for a JNCO novelty holiday sweater covered in both argyle and marijuana leaves.

In JNCOs new designs, you’ll have everyone saying, “Excuse me, sir, are you lost?”


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.