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Former Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann's historic and deluded run in the general direction of the White House is over, but that doesn't mean that the fun has to end! Make your own Michele Bachmann concession speech with these Michele Bachmann Concession Speech Mad Libs! More »
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Republicans have regained legislative power across America, and they're doing everything they can to follow through on their very important campaign promises to rein in spending and shrink the government and really help our children's children's children live out the American dream in a country free of international debt. Just kidding! They're spending all of their energy and political capital trying to pass laws that treat 51% of the population as subhumans incapable of making decisions for themselves. Why, just the other day, they helpfully voted to defund Planned Parenthood! Thanks, guys! More »
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Republicans have regained legislative power across America, and they're doing everything they can to follow through on their very important campaign promises to rein in spending and shrink the government and really help our children's children's children live out the American dream in a country free of international debt. Just kidding! They're spending all of their energy and political capital trying to pass laws that treat 51% of the population as subhumans incapable of making decisions for themselves. Why, just the other day, they helpfully voted to defund Planned Parenthood! Thanks, guys! We're lucky that legislative bodies consisting mostly of white, economically privileged men are there to make the hard decisions for us weak-minded and yogurt hungry ladies, and since we're sure you're on board with being reduced to a political bargaining chip (and we're also sure that you're feeble ladybrain isn't capable of formulating its own thoughts), the Mad Libologists here at Jezebel have uncracked the Anti Woman Legislation Code and made it possible for you to make your very own Congressional speech in favor of your own diminished importance in America. Print out the above and play with your friends! Or just read along below. More »
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Phyllis Schlafly is the lady Michael Jordan of hypocrisy. If there were such thing as specialized footwear worn by sayers of one thing and doers of another, they'd surely be called the Air SclaFLY and they'd be heavily advertised on Fox News. Throughout her illustrious career of growing famous and powerful by telling other women that they cannot be powerful, working full time to tell women that they should not work full time, she's said a lot of whiplash-givingly stupid things (including a turn at CPAC this past week), but a lot of those stupid things follow a fairly predictable pattern. Scientists have recently cracked The Schlafly Code, and now, for the first time, you can make your own Phyllis Schlafly speech. More »
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Hey crew, have you ever dreamed of writing up your own celebrity interview or trend piece? Well now you can, thanks to these handy dandy ladymag madlibs! Get your thinking caps on and your pencils ready, and let's do this! More »
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As anyone who saw the brilliant (if heavy-handed) Marxist satire Sex & The City: The Movie can attest, Modern Love knows no more determined foe than excessive product placement. But some women were too busy planning extravagant destination weddings for 250 to go see the movie with their 10 bridesmaids in time to save their unions from consumerist soul murder, a Catch (the bouquet, ha ha!) 22 exposed yesterday in a poignant Page Six Magazine piece detailing the nuptial miss of Brazilian model Ana Maria Macedo, whose own Mr. Big, a Swedish financier, called off their wedding via a [popular video-enabled instant message program.] What to do? Instead of stopping off at [iconic luxury jewelry chain] to pick up the wedding jewels, she called her (gay) friend Sam and demanded he accompany her to the movie he had definitely already seen. "I watched it and cried. I started to see myself in what Carrie had done. I thought, 'Oh, no.'" Where exactly had she gone wrong? Well, scribe Rachel Syme can't exactly write "seriously New Yorkers, stop dropping names and buying shit already," so she couches the fable in distracting little asides such as how she has lots of plastic surgery, brought up marriage on their first date and went as a bride for Halloween. But let's get to the point! Employing the technique of this Orwell scholar I know I decoded the story's subversive message simply by removing the following words: More »
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