Mac from It’s Always Sunny Is Camille Paglia’s Spirit AnimalS

It's not for us to fret over the various pronouncements proto-troll Camille Paglia heaves at the general public — they're all meant to be incendiary, like tiny word grenades full of phrases or sentiments meant to ruffle liberal feathers. She has all the academic credentials that your favorite liberal arts professor might have, and could probably take you a killer tour of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, but she instead seems bent on wielding her erudition like dog whistle tuned to enrage progressives. Camille Paglia is, in some ways, like a highbrow version of Ann Coulter. Put another way: if Ann Coulter is Coors Light, then Camille Paglia is a fancy Belgian beer recommended by a pretentious friend you've always suspected of being a huge Ayn Rand fan.

Over the course of a long interview in today's Wall Street Journal, Paglia, a Philadelphia resident, says a lot of stuff that people will either scoff at — "The entire elite class now, in finance, in politics and so on, none of them have military service—hardly anyone, there are a few. But there is no prestige attached to it anymore. That is a recipe for disaster." — or freak out at — "So many women don't realize how vulnerable they are by what they're doing on the street." Also, she insists that "primary education does everything in its power to turn boys into neuters," an idea that apparently resonated so much with interviewer Bari Weiss that she fashioned the interview's title out of it.

The whole thing reads like a Paglia's Greatest Trollisms transcription, and it would have passed us by with just the usual flare up of dismissal/outrage had Paglia not revealed in a roundabout way that she, a Philadelphia resident, bears a remarkable similarity to another Philadelphia resident:

When she has made this point in the past, Ms. Paglia—who dresses in androgynous jackets and slacks—has been told that she believes "women are at fault for their own victimization." Nonsense, she says. "I believe that every person, male and female, needs to be in a protective mode at all times of alertness to potential danger. The world is full of potential attacks, potential disasters." She calls it "street-smart feminism."

What Camille Paglia is saying is that she always has an A, B, and C strike plan to get all men and women out of any potentially life-threatening situations. She's ready for ANY situation, which is why we're all safe as long as we're around Camille Paglia. See, before any individual can pass by Camille Paglia and mingle with the rest of us, she always performs an ocular patdown of said individual and assesses the threat risk before clearing that individual for passage because Camille Paglia is the Sheriff of Feminism.

Images via AP