Lululemon, that store that gives you the opportunity to pay upwards of $90 to have strangers see your asscrack, is branching out into new asscrack demographics with vary different potentials for asscrack tragedy: men, and children.
Lululemon's line of overpriced kids' clothing is sold at stores called Ivivva, a brand that, despite customer complaints that the pants are made of shoddy fabric that pills after one wash, is experiencing a bit of a quiet surge in popularity. According to Business Insider, a child-size asscrack museum will set shoppers back around $65, as opposed to similar athletic pants for kids made by Nike and Under Armor, which retail for about half that. Who cares, right? If it's expensive, it means that it's good. And if you loved your kids — if you really loved your kids, wouldn't you get your 6-year-old daughter a $40 year old sports bra she doesn't have the boobs to need yet? Thought so.
Lululemon's slightly scarier-sounding men's clothing line won't debut until 2016, which means that if you're an optimist, we've got two years to brace ourselves from the onslaught of bulge display, and if you're a pessimist, we've got two years to terrify ourselves with horror visions of what might be coming down the pipeline. So to speak.
I eagerly await word from the company on whether or not it's okay for men or kids to be fat, or if it's just girl fatties who don't deserve yoga pants.