Lululemon Yoga Pants No Longer See-Through, Sales Plummet

JK, who knows how the sales are doing — what we do know is that people were fired, and pants are now opaque. You can currently buy your real house pants of Beverly Hills and wear them to church. Everybody wins! Except your checking account.

You see, what had happened was, some of Lululemon’s signature yoga pants (made with their signature black Luon fabric) (I don’t know), were sent to the store in subpar quality. Too little signature black Luon fabric to cover too big an ass region, apparently. Namely, you could see That Which Is Most Sacred and also le buttcrack. Gross! Or sexy! Whatever!

Anyway, the problem is all fixed now, so feel free to get your downward dog on without fear of pregnancy.