Still: Newsflare

I’m not even kidding. I love this little lambchop.

Via the Daily Mail comes footage of someone feeding water to her her pet cockroach (I’m sorry, I mean COCKROACH in Daily Mail parlance). Sounds gross until you watch it!

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The first thing you will notice is that it’s a very well-behaved roach. It sits patiently on its back, waiting for its treat. “Goo goo gaga, I’m excited for my water because I’m just a stupid baby and I don’t know what’s good yet!” this roach might be saying. It then watches its owner dip her finger in water by turning its head! Good roach! You are very engaged! I think this roach is a genius in the making.

Then, the feeding. I love how the roach lifts its little front leg up to the finger while suckling (or, you know, arbitrarily jittering the many pieces of its mouth in whatever directions they’ll go). “My bottle,” it thinks because, again, it’s just a stupid baby who thinks fingers are bottles.

What a sweet, gentle tender moment between a human and her pet Madagascan hissing cockroach.

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According to the Mail, the anonymous human whose finger doubles as a roach’s bottle says:

I love animals, all kinds. I wanted to tell people that cockroaches are not mean.

People who hate roaches usually don’t know that there are more than 4,500 species of roaches in the world and less than one per cent of that number are considered pests.

They are amazing creatures, I thought about making cute outfits for them could help people to see them with other eyes.

Holy shit, what’s stopping you?!?!?! Go for it! You’ve already pushed me beyond what I thought were the limits of my love. Make me adore this thing so much I want to eat it. Fuck me up, roach mommy.