Poop ruins everything. And at the Holiday Village Red Sea resort in Egypt, it's ruining everyone's vacations. Because British tourists (probably members of One Direction) are finding fun and merriment by relieving themselves of their lunch in the still blue waters of the resort pools. Is it a trend? Well, the hotel is threatening heavy fines, so maybe.
According to Death and Taxes, the pool poop craze isn't just limited to this one resort. Apparently, other pools all over the globe have had to be closed because tourists with a horrible sense of humor (I am assuming teens; I am hoping teens) have decided to take poop jokes to a whole new level. Not content to just throw a candy bar into the pool (fuck you, whoever is wasting chocolate that way), they're actually emptying their bowels amidst, I imagine, howls of laughter and cries of "I pooped all over you! Swim in my shit, turdblossom!" at such high frequency that a pool at a Holiday Village in Turkey had to be closed nine times due to free-floating shit. Nine times. Don't these people have the internet? Don't they realize they're ruining their own vacations, too? NINE MOTHERFUCKING TIMES? What are you, bears? Because you're doing it wrong; bears shit in the woods.