• Claire Danes is the celebrity spokesperson for Latisse, the eyelash growth serum. What you don't see in the commercials? She experienced side effects.

• I don't know what the hell Oprah is doing down there in Australia, but Hugh Jackman has been injured.

• After four years and two babies, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are officially becoming the Richie-Maddens, which will affect how they file taxes. To celebrate, they held a tabloid bidding war on their wedding photos. Stars: they're just like us!

[London, October 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Nice, August 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted nuzzling on the set of her movie, On The Road, being filmed in Montreal (?!?).

[London, June 30. Image via INFDaily.]

[London, June 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Sunday, Mary-Kate Olsen was on a flight from New York to Los Angeles when an electrical fire sparked in the cockpit, causing the windshield to crack.

• Sandra Bullock has allegedly decided to divorce Jesse James.

[Dublin, March 13. Image via WENN.]

• A new book titled Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie: The True Story is set to spill some details about the famous couple:

• Robert Pattinson took Kristen Stewart to a "secret" dinner with his parents. So secret that this Britloid knows about it!

• Lindsay Lohan is speaking out about her dad. "I hate him so much," she told Gossip Cop. And:

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

[London, October 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Here we have it, the first official glimpse of Kanye West's Louis Vuitton sneakers, aka THE BEST SNEAKERS KNOWN TO MANKIND EVER. The $700+ kicks were inspired by the movie Dune, and Kanye's own mind-blowing genius. [Racked]

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

[Bicester, England; April 2. Image via Getty.]

• Kanye West has been charged with battery, theft and vandalism stemming from that incident last September in which he smashed a paparazzi's camera at LAX. He's planning a fly courtroom outfit right now. [TMZ, Mirror, Gatecrasher]

• Lindsay Lohan won't be in court today to respond to a warrant for her arrest, but her lawyer will be there. The attorney claims it's all a misunderstanding, to which we say: Sure, sure. [AP]

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Did Nicole Richie rip off the idea of shilling crappy-looking headbands from Mischa Barton?! A "source" says yes! “Mischa is furious...She feels like Nicole completely copied her idea.” [PopCrunch]
• Kim Kardashian's shoe line takes celeb designing to a new level of annoying! "All you have to do is fill out a survey then her staff will continue sending you 5 cheap pairs of shoes each month until you beg for mercy. If you decide to keep a pair it’s $39 otherwise you just have to go through the trouble of reboxing them, going to the post office and mailing them back to Kim." [The.Life Files]
• Addressing the serious dearth of news about celebrity designers, Hayden Panettiere's design for Dooney and Bourke was "inspired by her astrological sign, Leo." [New York]

• Good Morning, you have new president. His name is Barack Obama. No, he cannot start today. But soon. And he says: "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy… tonight is your answer." [People]
• Oprah on Barack Obama's win: "It's one of the greatest moments I could ever even imagine. That's how great it is." [ET]
• Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted a Barack Obama victory party at their house in Beverly Hills. Jennifer Aniston, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher were in attendance; champagne was had. Meanwhile, in Chicago, Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfrey watched Obama's speech live. Also psyched: George Clooney and Usher. [E!]
• George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory, and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." [ET]
• Oprah again: "This is democracy at its finest." [ET]
• In other news, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Supposedly. More in Midweek Madness. [Star]

• Karl Lagerfeld is directing a silent movie. Obviously. "Expect a fast-paced, laugh-packed and loose interpretation of Gabrielle Chanel’s adventures between 1913 and 1923." Riotous, we're sure. [WWD]
• We had heard, of course, about the new Chanel fishing rod. However! Until now we had not seen its quilted case and dainty tackle box! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Hermes heir grabs a pilot's crotch, punches him in the face. This was perceived as interfering with the flight. [NY Times]
• Lauren Conrad's fashion show was apparently standing room only. Although given that the front row was propped up by Lo Bosworth and Holly Madison, we're guessing it wasn't exactly Anna Wintour clamoring to get in. [Yahoo News]

• In case Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle blog, Goop, wasn't quite irritating enough, now she brings us a breakdown of how to get her look. Apparently Roger Vivier bangles help. And don't think that one Uniqlo skirt fools anyone, Gwynnie; we've been wise to those tricks since Lucky hit newsstands! [Racked]
• Fashionologie claims it's "always a treat" to hear Kate Moss talk. We respectfully disagree. Draw yout own conclusions from this video of her "designing." [Fashionologie]
• Here are La Moss's "10 Style Rules": one of them's "Make It Look Effortless." Another is, "When In Doubt, Buy Diamonds." Oh, okay! Maybe this is Gwyneth's secret? [The Guardian]
• Karl Lagerfeld is now a proper noun in Le Petit Larousse Illustré. He also designed the cover. [WWD]

• "She's certainly telling friends she's planning to write a book," says a source close to Sam Ronson. "It's supposed to be about her, allegedly. But come on, you know Lindsay will be all over that book. She's the only one people want to read about." But! Michael Lohan says: "She's using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some L.A. DJ. And now she's writing a book? I am at wit's end with this stuff. This is not in Lindsay's best interest." Oh dear! (And for the record, the Ronsons were on the New York scene before Lindsay ever shot Parent Trap. So.) [Yahoo News, The Sun]
• Michael Lohan thinks LL is drinking again. "Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse." [MSNBC]
• Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton: Splitsville! The couple has been engaged since 2006 and started dating in 1992. They broke up after five years but got back together in 2005. Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? [Yahoo News, People]
• Related: Headline of the day: "Desperately Airbrushed Housewives: Latest Publicity Pictures Contrast With Recent Real Life Shots Of Stars" [Daily Mail]
• Matthew McConaughey's mom reveals her husband, Matt's dad, died while she was having sex with him: "On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. One day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn't hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!" [Page Six]

• If large yacht = small cock, here's an estimate of the penis size of various billionaire businessmen, from biggest to smallest: Richard Branson, Rupert Murdoch, Ronald Perelman, Tom Perkins, Paul Allen. [Rush&Molloy]