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The walking, talking ashtray that is Abby Lee Miller returned to our television sets last night on the season premiere of Dance Moms. She's still screaming, she's still bitching, and she's still accusing her students' parents of being bad moms. Having had a taste of reality television success, Abby knows that she has to amp up the drama, so she decided to tell one working mother that she needs to quit her job in favor of attending her daughter's dance rehearsals. Yes, it's ridiculous, but really, no more ridiculous than said mother keeping her child at Abby's studio. We've already questioned why these moms subject their children to Abby, but now we're wondering why they subject themselves to her. The answer, of course, is obvious: to be on television. The horror these people suffer at the hands of Abby is worse than that of the contestants on Fear Factor. I'd rather eat bull testicles than have to listen to that beast rasp about how she had to learn about menstruation from her father. More »
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"What's Wrong With Tanya?" is a game show created by SNL. But if it were real, I would absolutely be watching with a bowl of popcorn on a nightly basis. Let's get on this, Lifetime: just gather three stereotypical mothers from the movies, give them buzzers, and when each Tayna walks onto the stage, let them try to guess what's going on inside of her dark-and-stormy head. Give away prizes like "a Volvo filled with groceries" and include an ultra-sinister Bill Hader as host and I'm sold. More »
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The funny, lady-centric tearjerker — which began as a play with an all-female cast, and was then turned into a film in which Julia Roberts declared, "pink is my signature color" — is being remade as a Lifetime movie with an all-black cast. The popularity and success of Tyler Perry's sudsy family dramas prove that there's an audience for this kind of thing, and the story's sharply drawn characters are memorable. But I hear that every time Hollywood greenlights a remake, a writer with an original idea sobs and blows her nose in the pages of her rejected manuscript. More »
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When our girls won the national title in last week's episode, you might have thought it was the shining moment for the the students of the Abby Lee Miller dance school. But what's a national title when you could be shimmying around in neon feathers and hair extensions for a music video? Welcome to the Dance Moms finale. Abby, the dancers, and the moms packed up and went to Los Angeles, where they would participate in a music video for some unknown singer (okay, her name is Lux) who wanted to have a music video filled with little girls. More »
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Last night's brand-new episode of Dance Moms reiterated the fact that the stars here are, in fact, the moms. (If they weren't, the show would be called, I don't know, Dance Kids?) So is it any surprise that when the girls won the National Talent Competition, the mothers made it all about themselves? More »
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Occasionally, a Lifetime movie comes along that seems almost like a real movie. The inspiration for this week's slideshow, The Watch, is one such film, a horror flick that sets itself up with all the classic horror tropes: a villain whose face you barely see, slow pacing, music that gets loud when a terrifying figure approaches from behind. It's legitimately scary at times — subtle, even — and it feels all wrong. If we wanted to watch a good movie, we'd be watching Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story. But by the end all is restored. Everything has fallen properly to shit. There's a woman who loves a worthless man, a potential murder, and a ghost ventriloquist. Never change, dear Lifetime. Never change. More »
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In a case straight out of a Lifetime movie, Alaskan woman Rachelle Waterman has been sentenced to three years in prison after she was found guilty of arranging to have two ex-boyfriends kill her mother. More »
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Last night, Lifetime premiered two episodes of the reality series that brings Roseanne Barr back to TV. In the teasers, it was made clear that the show, Roseanne's Nuts (GET IT?), would be focus on both Barr's newfound passion for nut farming and her mental stability — or lack thereof. More »
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Roseanne Barr was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, radiant in a citrusy caftan and feathery extensions in her hair. When asked why she had moved to Hawaii and purchased a macadamia nut farm, she replied, "Menopause." And added: "When you get old, you want kind of a less dumb-ass lifestyle." More »
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Our last Lifetime Movie Cartoon elicited a comment about a pretty great-sounding Lifetime original starring Molly Ringwald as a lawyer who defends a cheating amnesiac. Amnesia being one of the less-frequent — but always thrilling — LMN tropes, we had to see the action for ourselves. And it's good. Or at least we think it's good. Now it's your turn to judge the latest subject of our fascination, The Wives He Forgot, presented for you in cartoon form. And yes, since there still seems to be confusion on this point, these are real movies. There is no improving on a Lifetime plot!

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In our latest installment of Lifetime Movie Cartoons, we examine a two-hour psychological knot called "My Daughter's Secret." At the crux of the story are two forces competing for the loyalty of a skittish teenage girl: mom vs. bad boyfriend. Neither are catches per se — the mom is an idiot, and the boyfriend is an ass, but such is a teenage girl's conundrum. To Lifetime things up, there's also a murder, a cold-blooded gun-nut and an unnecessarily complicated crime. Enjoy.

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In today's Lifetime Movie Cartoons, we examine the 2007 classic Like Mother, Like Daughter, a charming meditation on the inescapable allure of a man in power. Men in power, as we all know, are like Gods on earth. So what happens when the LMN writing team gets its nimble hands on such a creature? Murder, that's what.

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Lifetime movies combine the best of all possible worlds: Women in peril, senseless plot twists, female friendship, and mindless backstabbing. It's almost too much to handle, really. But cartoonist Mallika Rao will help us make sense of it all.

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The New York Post points out that ratings at Lifetime and Hallmark are slipping, while other networks like the History Channel and MTV are gaining shares of women viewers. More »
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Hayden Panettiere has weighed in on the Amanda Knox case, saying of the controversial convict, "she didn't have any intention to do this." Why? Panettiere's playing Knox on Lifetime. More »
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Previously, Camilla Luddington snagged the Middleton role in Lifetime's dramatization; now Nico Evers-Swindell has been named the on-screen Prince William. The generously coiffed Evers-Swindell is best known for his work on NCIS: Los Angeles, in the role of "blond Russian." More »
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Last night's premiere of Lifetime's One Born Every Minute—filmed at a busy maternity ward in Ohio—focused on mothers' decisions for pain management. It's edited in a way that made those who opt to go natural look like morons. More »
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Is anyone else ready to quit watching this damn show? More »
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Well. That whole "cheater" teaser was such a manipulative misdirection. The producers are jerks! But last night's episode was one of the most stunning, ever. More »
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• Madonna went to Macy's yesterday with Lourdes and her "muse" Taylor Momsen to launch her Material Girl juniors' line. But that's just the start of Madge's licensing deal: Expect separately branded, grown-up geared lingerie and workout clothes next. [WWD]

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Hayden Panettiere is set star in The Amanda Knox Story, Lifetime's take on the exchange student convicted of murdering her roommate in Italy. The 2011 film is being written by Wendy Battles of CSI and Law & Order. More »
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The challenge: To create a resort wear ensemble. And have your teammate execute (as in, sew) your design, as you act as a seamstress for them. What counts as "resort"? Funny you should ask! More »
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Last night, the designers were challenged to create something for the Marie Claire woman, which would be featured on a billboard in Times Square. At the end, there was a cameo appearance by Coco Rocha! More »
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Last night's premiere of Project Runway attempted to breathe new life in the aging series by featuring a new style of introductions. Plus: Tim and Heidi announced that one — or more — designers would be eliminated right away. More »
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Jennifer Love Hewitt as a former teen beauty who falls on hard times and is reduced to prostituting herself? (Too easy.) You betcha: last night, Lifetime's long-awaited mom-turns-hooker, based-on-a-true-story, made-for-TV The Client List premiered: More »
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• Isabella Rossellini has a Bulgari handbag collection. The actress called bags "an indispensable accessory for us women" and compared them to jewels; hers cost $1,700-$2,600. Rossellini printed drawings from her acclaimed Green Porno series on the linings. [ONTD]

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Click for a preview of The Client List, the Lifetime movie Jennifer Love Hewitt calls, "Erin Brockovich in a brothel." Bonus: This promo pic in which Love ponders why she's starring in crappy TV movies, not Lost or Mean Girls. [N.Y.Post, Lifetime] More »
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Last night, the final three designers in the contest showed their collections at Bryant Park. More »
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The people I was rooting for have left the show, but I'm psyched for the Project Runway finale tonight! To celebrate, here's a gallery of Nina Garcia's best reaction faces — bored, disapproving, disappointed — it's all here. More »
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Since the producers love to drag things out and torture the PR audience, last night's episode wasn't really the finale, it was the finale PART ONE. The remaining four designers had $9,00 and four months to create collections. More »
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We call Project Runway The Greatest Show On Earth, so it was fitting that last night's episode — in which the final four were decided — began at the circus. More »
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The bad news: I went to bed early and my DVR declined to record ProjRun last night. The good news: My mom watched it and told me everything. More »
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Last night in a ProjRun first — and a feat of integrated advertising — the designers created their own fabrics (using software and computers made by a sponsor). It was all downhill from there! More »
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I love New York! I grew up here; it's a helluva town. But last night's episode — in which the designers had to come up with ensembles inspired by Manhattan neighborhoods — made NYC look like a dull, colorless place. More »
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We've heard the stats about women and social gaming. Nearly half of women play online games. So Lifetime, in their pursuit to learn about all things women-related, conducted a year-long, in-depth study to go inside the minds of women gamers. More »
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Last night's episode was the one I've been waiting for. Thinking outside the box! Using nontraditional materials! Making models look like half-naked '60s go-go girl Barbie dolls! More »
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The Pregnancy Pact and Project Runway aren't enough to cut it: Lifetime is struggling with increased competition, plus sagging ratings and advertising. And its uneven glamorous makeover may have alienated its base. More »
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Last night's episode involved designing looks for little girls, but the contestants were the ones who acted like brats. More »
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Shit just got real. More »
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As far as integrating an advertiser into the show goes, last night's Campbell's Soup-centric episode was not as bizarre as the car parts challenge of season 5. More »
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