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Barack Obama sure picked the right time to go on a secret vacation with Rihanna! The blind guy is STILL MAKING NEWS. Now it's co(mg)caine. Barack Obama did cocaine in the eighties. Who cares if the blind governor did cocaine in the eighties? Barack Obama probably gave it to him, and Barack Obama didn't have blindness as an excuse for needing false confidence! You know what else made news today? Sex. Not unprotected anal whore sex! Not illicit adultery in the 94th Street Days Inn sex! Not even "erotic sex"! Just sex, as in: it's fun! You should have some. Moving on: what else do we have here...elections in Zimbabwe! Can you spell Zimbabwe without Mugabe? Oh also: Sinbad! Sinbad is still in the news! Sinbad has never enjoyed such high approval ratings! Can we give Sinbad a cabinet position? And then there's some more about the war. Will the number 4,000 detract from the "myth" that the Troop Surge is a huge success? Or, on the contrary, will it remind everyone why we needed the Troop Surge to begin with? No one knows! Also, that part about Barack and Rihanna is totally unsubstantiated. We just don't know very much about the Virgin Islands because we never take vacation. Which is why Glamocracy's Megan and I are here to IM every morning for your commenting pleasure. More »
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