Jezebel: Larry Craig

Top 10 Ways Male Politicians Confess To Extramarital Affairs

Megan Carpentier — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:00:00 EDT

More and more these days, politicians appear to be straying from their marriages — but, unlike in the old days where a short public acknowledgment wasn't de rigueur, today's straying politicians are obligated to old press conferences to explain themselves. More »

Rod Blagojevich: Putting All Republi-Scandals To Shame

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:40:00 EST

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is free tonight on $4,500 bail and has absolutely no intention of resigning after being indicted on massive corruption and extortion charges. [CNN, Politico, Chicago Tribune]
Barack Obama said he'd had no contact with Blagojevich over the Senatorial appointment Blagojevich apparently was attempting to sell. [Huffington Post]
Blagojevich did, apparently, attempt to trade with SIEU President Andy Stern the appointment of Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett in exchange for a golden parachute into an SEIU-funded non-profit. Jarrett dropped out of the running shortly thereafter. [Marc Ambinder, Politico]
Contrary to early reports, Rahm Emanuel didn't tip off the U.S. Attorneys. [Talking Points Memo]

Caroline Kennedy Has A Tattoo, Hankering For A Senate Seat

Megan Carpentier — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 10:00:00 EST

Look! There on her arm! That's not a bruise, it's a tattoo! ZOMG, can you even be a Senator with a tattoo? Can two strong women work together at the State Department without a catfight? Was it ever possible that power would not corrupt powerful Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel? Can the Huffington Post's Jason Linkins answer all these questions and talk about puppies without having to leave his computer to vomit from the flu? Those queries and many others, answered after the jump. More »

Conservatives Use Sexism To Attack, Undermine Feminists

Megan Carpentier — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:00:00 EDT

When I wrote my first real post about Sarah Palin as the Republican's Vice Presidential nominee, I noted — as many others were noting and have since — that she was hardly the candidate with the best or even remotely complete record on women's issues like reproductive choice or pay equity. I did so even as my email inbox was crackling with false emails about her family and comments from supposed liberals about everything from her ability to parent a special-needs child and govern at the same time to variations on the pretty-can't-be-smart theme. More »

My Liberal Heart Bleeds For Your Portable Massage Needs, Texas!

Moe — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:30:08 EST

Hey, what's that saying about sex and politics? You know, it's weird or something? Like Rudy and Judi. The rhyming names thing doesn't even make the list! Or Dennis and Liz. The Hobbit love thing doesn't even register! Matalin and Carville...OMG don't GO there! Sure, sometimes it gets so weird it all comes back around to appropriateland. This election pits outed fag hag Ann Coulter and her new hard-on for Hillary against Barack Obama's latest gay Newt Gingrich. Newt Gingrich, who was fucking around on the wife for whom he left his first saintly dying cancer-stricken wife with some blond chick the whole time he was leading Clinton's impeachment battle! Newt Gingrich, new BFF of the environment... Anyway, so it makes sense that the morning's art is brought to you by the Republican Party, which made these clever Barack Obama e-Valentines employing popular Clinton team talking points. Welcome to the worst day of the year. Come on in, rejoice in your constitutional right to own a vibrating massage wand and reminisce fondly with me and (also single!) Megan about your very first political sex scandal. Mine was Donna Rice! Didja know she's a Jesus prude activist now? Here's a link to the Starr Report. More »

The ACLU is arguing that foot-tapping is...

Moe — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:45:49 EDT

The ACLU is arguing that foot-tapping is protected speech, rendering the public bathroom probe that outed faggot Senator Larry Craig unconstitutional, which seems about fair. But here's a more difficult question: if you decide to expose yourself in public bathroom to a woman who turns out to be a blow-up doll, is that protected speech? Because I would rather the answer to that be "yes" so we can drop the admittedly hilarious "indecent exposure" charges against Craig McCullough, 47 and start encouraging prosecutors to remind people that rape is actually also still illegal. Although, that would rob me of this opportunity to tell you about how this guy was arrested three years ago for burglarizing a Just For Me bridal boutique and they arrested him in an alley and I think you can figure out what he was wearing. [CBS News] More »

Seal And Heidi Klum: But They Make It Look So Easy...

Moe — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 22:00:40 EDT

So Easy..." alt="Click here to read Seal And Heidi Klum: But They Make It Look So Easy..." src="http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/images/39/2007/10/small_HKLUMKISSS101407_01.BRO.jpg"/>

"All politics is marriage." No one actually said that except me, and that was when I was drunk, so I don't know why I wrote that in quotes and it is not as if I am asking to be quoted in some entirely different context saying that in some fancy magazine, but I stand by the original drunk train of thought. All politics is couples who no longer have sex, and if there is one pair of non sex-having companions that can stand up to the coming Martian attacks I think we know who they are. Marriage is getting harder everywhere, as General Ricardo Sanchez inadvertently pointed out when he skewered the administration's (lack of an) Iraq strategy — families in Kabul have resorted to selling their daughters into arranged marraiges starting at age three because everyone's so fucking desperate for cash, while marriage to a post-traumatic veteran turns out to be not much less desperate. Then there's the White House itself, where "on the rare occasions when [Bush] slips into self-pity" over the mess he and Condi and Dick have made of it all, relies on Laura to "snap him out of it." (Yeah, I know, right: Rare? Self-? Sigh.) More »

Why Politicians' Wives Stay With Their Crappy, Pathetic Husbands

Moe — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:45:43 EDT

Guess what? Senator Craigslist's wife Suzanne, ignored for decades on account of boringness or something, has suddenly begotten all manner of media think pieces on her curious decision to "stand by her man." Don't think you'd do it? Neither did Louisiana whore patron Senator David Vitter's wife!

Commenting on the Clinton scandal, Wendy Vitter told the media in 2000, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he [Vitter] does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

Senator Craig Has Never Been Gay, And Other Things That Make So Much Sense

Moe — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:30:18 EDT

Senator Craigslist says that not only is he not gay, he has never been gay, including when he was arrested three months ago and also back in 1982 when he had to deny he was gay on account of all the young boy Congressional pages he'd plied with drugs and alcohol and fucked, which very neatly explains, you see, why he plead guilty.