Image via Getty.

After Adele wisely declined to perform at America’s foremost Sport Ball Party (Super Bowl 2017, some call it), it became clear that someone was going to have to pick up the slack. The fire-juggling ferrets had been booked for a wedding; John Stamos was doing a bar mitzvah. “Fine,” sighed Lady Gaga. “I will sing my songs during your annual televised massacre.”

Us Weekly reports that Gaga is no virgin when it comes to striding onto and then standing on football fields, having sung the national anthem in a shimmering Gucci pantsuit just this February, at yet another Super Bowl. People seemed to enjoy that.

As we pointed out this week, Gaga’s new single, “Perfect Illusion,” is a grave disappointment, so she’ll have to work up something truly impressive if she expects viewers at home to look up from building their cheese effigies and pay attention to her. I’m not sure I know how football works!

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For the love of god I hope she doesn’t wear this.