Ladies Read Cringe-Worthy Messages From Gay Hook-Up Sites

I don’t know what’s more awkward here, the content of some of these messages—”I want to cum in your beard”—or the spelling and grammar typos that abound when one is looking frenziedly for someone to host, but it’s hilarious when the women of Second City read messages from some of the most popular gay sex apps aloud.

Some messages are unfailingly polite in the face of delicate issues: “Hi Excuse me, can i see you ass pic? and your cock pic please?”

Some messages are written by my 16-year-old-self: “I like buttsecks.”

Some messages are refreshingly direct: “Sex.”

Some messages are about Tim Curry.

And some messages are just so WTF, I have no idea what they even mean but I am frightened: “Grrrr, I would do things to you that would take years of therapy to OVERCOME.” What are you going to do exactly? I’ve been in therapy for about nine years, and most of my sessions focus on the fact that my dad wouldn’t take me to the library when he promised to. ARE YOU ALSO GOING TO DENY ME THE PLEASURE OF CONTEMPORARY LITERATURE GEARED TOWARDS ADOLESCENT FEMALES? No, I will not host!