Ladies Demand Girth, Not Length, From Their One-Night Stands

A major setback for smarmy dudes who like to brag about the length of their erect cocks: Ladies prefer girth, rather than sheer inches. Sorry, smarmy dudes.

LiveScience reports on a study recently presented by a UCLA undergrad at a meeting of the Association for Psychological Science. Precocious! (No, it hasn’t been peer-reviewed, but it’s about dicks, so, here we are.) Here’s how the study worked:

In the study, 41 women viewed and handled penises made on a 3D printer. The models were blue, and ranged in size from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. They were asked to pick which of the 33 models they would prefer for a one-time partner, and which they would prefer for a long-term partner.

[Grabs 3D-printed dick, hefts its in one hand like a grapefruit.] “I don’t know, it seems kinda light for its size?”

They preferred a slightly girthier D for one-night stands than steady relationships; there was no difference in the length preferred (landing around 6.5 inches). Hey, if you’re going to take on the wild side, why not get greedy? Also interesting: “After completing the 10-minute survey, women tended to overestimate the size of the penis they had previously examined.”

Of course, it’s not like anybody picks one-nighters based on their junk. Unless you met on ~the Internet~ and have already exchanged glamour shots of your genitals, temporary lovahs are really a mystery box. Unless you’re a real genius for estimating the number of beans in the jar (so to speak), you just don’t know what you’ve bought until you unwrap the package at home.

Frankly, this probably says more about how women shop for dildos than Mr. Right Now. Unless bar-cruising men start carrying around 3D-printed previews of their wangs, just in case, which would not surprise me one bit. Tech!