One reader named NONAME has informed me that there are no free lunches when I work at Jezebel and I should really post stuff of grave importance because she caught a hate virus or something the last time I guest-edited.

NONAME's email:

i'm only doing this because i so virulently hated your last blogging sub-in. Voila, a jezebel style story courtesy of the huffington post.

hint: women are interested in things besides smut.

So there you go. Screech like the wind, you clench-fisted sisters of the new millennium. More smut in a bit!