Charles and David Koch held a retreat at a California resort this weekend, where Republican candidates gathered around a pool of Koch money, attached vacuum cleaner extensions to their snouts, and gazed pleadingly at them. All conditions seemed ripe for—could it be—yes, praise Jesus, we’ve got ourselves another All-Male Panel!

The retreat, held at a resort in Dana Point, was mostly a time for Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, and Jeb Bush to practice extending their hands palm-up. However, the Washington Post reports that one of the weekend’s other attractions was a panel on activism, wherein Charles Koch compared rich conservatives trying to win the next election to iconic civil rights struggles:

“Look at the American revolution, the anti-slavery movement, the women’s suffrage movement, the civil rights movement,” Koch said. “All of these struck a moral chord with the American people. They all sought to overcome an injustice. And we, too, are seeking to right injustices that are holding our country back.”

As the Huffington Post’s Amanda Terkel pointed out on Twitter, here’s how that panel looked:

Wonderful. Just spot-on.

The event doubled as a roll-out for the Kinder, Cuddlier Kochs, an image they seem eager to experiment with this election cycle; the Post reports that the resort where the retreat was held featured “huge banners” with “quotes from donors describing their commitment to helping the poor.”


Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.

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David Koch pictured in 2014. There were very few public images of this weekend’s retreat. Go figure! Image via AP.