The Kimye Union has been official for, like, three days now, which means that it's high time for the E! network to release some exclusive wedding photos to placate the squalling masses. Here they are! Everyone looks lovely and happy!
Both Kim and Kanye wore custom Givenchy; there was a giant flower wall (which I guess is their "thing" now); from the photos of the ceremony and after-party, it seems as though everyone in attendance had to either don black garb or, alternatively, an all-white Batman costume. More images at the link. [E!]
In other news, the newlyweds are now just chillin' in a castle in Ireland. I would like them to venture to Dublin because that trip can become the basis for my postmodern tome, Ulysses 2, which will be told primarily through stream-of-consciousness and TwitLonger posts. [Gossip Cop]
In other other news, intrigue is still swirling about elusive sock designer Rob Kardashian's swift pre-wedding departure. The verdict, mostly, is that it had something to do with Kim being a total shit and disapproving of his weight gain and/or Rob's distaste with the gross opulence of the event. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [The Hollywood Gossip]
Maculay Culkin's pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band ("The Pizza Underground") was pelted with beers and booed off the stage in the UK. Culkin was reportedly banging rhythmically on a pizza box, which the British did not like. They have absolutely no appreciation of art over there. [ONTD]
Your favorite celebrity wedding-to-be just got even favoriter: Amal Alamuddin and George Clooney may get married at Downton Abbey, according to a very glorious rumor. I nominate Lord Grantham's dog for ring bearer. [Hello!]
- Justin Bieber flirted with a model by re-posting one of her Instagram photos with the caption "I see you In that Dolce Dress. Glad u had fun. :)" She responded with a photo of him wearing some ill-fitting formal pajamas and a light moustache, with the caption "#mcm looking great in that suit." Kids these days. [E!]
- Khloe Kardashian wished Scott Disick a happy birthday by posting both of their mugshots. [E!]
- Look how cute Naomi Watts' dog is! His name is Bob :') [Just Jared]
- Nikki Reed dyed her hair blonde five days after filing for a divorce, thus revealing all sorts of esoteric knowledge to the Celebrity Hair Oracles. [People]
- Gisele Bündchen will star in a new Chanel No. 5 commercial, directed by Baz Luhrmann. Hopefully it's just a shot-for-shot remake of Brad Pitt's. [People]
- Professional idk Brittny Gastineau and actual magician David Blaine may have fallen in love at the Kimye nuptials. A love story for our time, if ever there was one. [People]
- Kendall Jenner "can't get Harry Styles out of her head" but he doesn't love her back. Ugh, same, Kendall. [Radar]
- Here's Cara Delevingne looking v. beautiful and Business Coachella at her sister Poppy Delevingne's wedding. (Poppy's dress looks like what would happen if a fleet of fairies created a ball gown using only materials found at Michael's Arts and Crafts, which is — duh — a big compliment.) [E!]
Images via E!, Getty.